Jessica Fletcher

Jessica Fletcher does my tits in !

    

                                      Jessica Fletcher

Jessica Fletcher has just arrived, someone's about to die,
I'd love to say "Hello" to her, but it's safer to say "Bye,"
She's dining with some people, there maybe three or four,
Oh! make that three, as I can see, one has hit the floor.

At least unlike the Cludeo game, we know what room they're in,
But how her guest has met her fate, where do I begin?
I saw no hidden stranger, who was lurking in the back,
To pounce upon the dining guest and quickly snap her neck.

The woman in the low cut top, who sat not far away,
Could she be a suspect, for they had words today?
She wore big hair, a sequined top, with "Eighties" shoulder pads,
Her mobile phone, was like a brick, they were once the fads.

They then called for a Doctor, as they heard the victim groan,
Dining with his three sons, was the legend, Doctor Sloan,
He thinks he smart, this old fart, he really is precocious,
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Sloan he checked the body and this is what he said,
"I'm sorry my dear Jessica, I think your friend is dead,
Murdered  with an arrow, straight into her neck,
And it could be poisoned, of that I'll have to check.

I also found some gunshot wounds, located in her spine,
 There’s resin in her empty glass, someone has spiked her wine,
An artery's been severed, slashed right across her throat,
In her menu, is a message, it's "Murder she wrote”.

I've also noticed burn marks, these notes I'll take in stock,
These are classic symptoms, of electric shock,
I came across a trip-wire, wrapped around her feet,
 And something forced down in her throat, which someone made her eat.

I've checked her eyes and I find, the signs of dilation,
Fingerprints around her throat, it’s manual strangulation,
That large gash to her stomach, one weapon sure can match it,
It's got hall the hallmarks, of a newly sharpened hatchet. 

Then there's all the knife marks, I found around her abs,
A frenzied series of deep cuts, I think that they are stabs,
I'll bring her to my mortuary, I'll bring along my boys,
So long as they eat their greens and put away their toys".

At a crime scene Jessi turns up, interfering all the way,
People murdered all about her, she knows just what to say,
She makes the police look stupid, as forensics search around,
She steals important evidence, so much it weighs her down.

Jessica and Doctor Sloan, can they solve this crime?
We know they've both got other job's, yet they do this all the time,
Why don't they just get married, or even get a room,
For every time that they show up, murder's sure to loom.

So next time that you are going out and want to stay alive,
Choose your company carefully, that way you will survive,
The Grim Reaper that is Fletcher, not as clever as she think's,
Never say  “Hello” to her, 'cause she's a f*****g jinx!

Author's Note

Supercalafragalisticexpialidocious, how often can you use that in a line? lol I was busting to write about Jessica Fletcher and at the same time, use that "word" and now it feels as though I have just come out of confession or spoken to my shrink, (same difference), GREAT, WHAT A RELEASE!