Intuitive Musings

A Story by O'Musings

Intuitive musings... my healing journey through pain and loss

Spiritual writings

Like so many I have been on my own personal spiritual journey. A quest to find my own inner truths and authenticity. A quest to find out the many answers to my questions. Or should I say the questions to the answers that my spirit had always known.
Dissatisfied , I hungered for more. I was restless, disengaged and struggling to find my own real meaning in life. I longed to quench the fires that burned deep within my spirit, my soul, my being. I longed to still the raging torrents that seem to consume my thoughts. I knew I needed more. I knew there was more. I needed to connect, allow and surrender to the Universe. I needed to heal.
I was not satisfied with simply going through life stuck in autopilot.
I had always been a highly intuitive being. A bright child that yearned to learn and know more. A reserved child that was overly sensitive to other people’s energies, criticisms and judgements. A child that knew she was special. A child that knew she was inherently gifted, different in the way she perceived life. Gifted in the way she saw the inherent beauty and connections between things. A crystal child.
A child that was thrown into the chaos and poverty of a large family. A child that learned vicariously and knew when and how to fly under the radar. A child that was fiercely intelligent, private, intuitive and protective. Protective of self and her 2 younger siblings. A child that had to learn to navigate the painful pathways of abuse, grief and despair. A child that learned to fly, albeit metaphorically. A child who saw silver linings in life. A child who saw the gifts that life so abundantly blessed her with. Gifts, often disguised as challenges, losses and pain. A child that had so much to give. A child that loved her own thoughts. A child that could escape the harshness of her realities by delving deep into her own thoughts and spirit. A child that sort out solace in nature and amongst animals and trees. A child that was a survivor. A child that would become a healer of self and others. A child that loved words. A child that though in pictures. A child that would grow into a loving and generous woman. A child that was capable of healing her adult self.I am filled with gratitude for my child self. I am filled with gratitude for the strength, resilience, intelligence and gifts that she bestowed upon my adult self.