Gone

I am a woman, a mother, a wife
I am a woman in control of her life
If ever they ask that’s what I say
Lying, denying to get through the day
Wearing a mask weaved from deceit
Built on tears and bruises and years of defeat
But I should be strong and happy, you see...
For I am the lucky one, finally free
So why do i feel so backed in corner ?
Trapped and tormented by years Of your order
So twisted and warped is the way that i think
That even my new life is starting to sink
All those years of mistrust and hurt and belief
Works to decay the sense of relief
My freedom’s not real, cos you’ll always be there
You moulded my life, and this sense of despair...
Is oh so real, ‘cos I’ll never be free
Not from you, you’re long gone, but I’m not free from me
The damage you did, will always be there
Locked in my head, not that you’d care
My life may be happy, I may have moved on
But I’m not really Me, the real me’s gone

Reviews

[Phill Oz O'fee]

This is a courageous and intimate share; there are many internal messages that the abuse has imprinted on your mind and those messages are what are making you feel this pain. Thus, your write highlights many more things that are basically disabling your perception or the healthy reality you once had. The certain changes that took place over the course of the abuse must be undone so you can become the person that you want to be, or the person you were before the abuse. My prayers are with you …. Thank you for posting this poem! :-)

[Behind blue eyes]

Thank you, you're too kind. I'm glad that the meaning and feeling came through x

[Brittany Zedalis]

God damn. I felt this one personally. Having escaped from abuse myself years ago, it took a long time for me to be able to get out of my own head. You put it into words wonderfully.

~Luna

[Behind blue eyes]

thank you!

[Kate Henderson]

Fantastic writing! Very poignant and real. Love it.

[Behind blue eyes]

Thank you x

[emipoemi]

Wow, this is powerful!! And great musicality (which would flow a bit better if you decontract your last two contractions (the one on the last line especially, for that "is" needs to be said to pack a good punch as well as help the musicality flow better). Well done overall!

[Behind blue eyes]

thank you so much...i was actually thinking the same thing when I read it back the other day :) thanks for taking the time to give some advice x

[emipoemi]

with pleasure.

[Serendipity Planet]

beautiful , very brave touch of words

[Behind blue eyes]

Thank you :)

[aj milton]

Eloquently and very effectively written.

The end of a very long term relationship can be hard to put into perspective as it will have encompassed so many ups and downs and it's not so easy to categorise or compartmentalise in order to get closure. I think your words express that very well

[Behind blue eyes]

Thank you. Still trying to find my confidence after years of having it knocked back.

[aj milton]

I understand. Not quite the same perhaps, but my two little ventures into poetry are also the raw expression of LTR breakdown.

[JMaster1]

I still try to calm after reading your words ,
For a very long time I was not touched by a Poem , by words as I was touched by yours ,
I am not sure if that's a real or not but in very few words , you were able to touch me so deep inside

[Behind blue eyes]

Thank you for your kind words. It has taken me a long time to have the courage to start writing again, and this is the first thing I have written and put out in close to 15 years. and yes, it all comes from real experiences. Thanks again.