Prologue

The start of Tears For The Wicked

Prologue

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He sat on an old rickety stool, his long, dark grey hair flowing down his back. One thick strand of white hair hung down the side of his cheek to his collarbone highlighting his face. His arm moved freely, almost dancing, as his hand flicked the thin wooden paint brush across the large easel that stood in front of him.

The room was big. It was dimly lit by fat, white candles that sat in niches on the thick walls and the large, silver chandelier overhead swayed ever so slightly, the flames flickering. The rich, burgundy, damask wall paper contrasting the deep purple, floor to ceiling satin curtains that covered each of the six tall windows. Four of these were open, the curtains billowing up into the room. Intricate burgundy and gold rugs lay on the polished wooden floor, covering most of it.

Antique oak book shelves covered one wall, nearly tall enough to reach the ceiling; a wooden ladder leaned against them.  Finished paintings covered over with white muslin sheets sat against the other walls.

He continued to paint, concentration in his eyes. The deep red, velvet robe hung off one shoulder, revealing the clean, white frilled shirt underneath. The frilly cuffs flowing elegantly as his hand moved over the canvas.

He looked over at his subject, his ice grey eyes cold and calculating as he studied the child who sat on a chair opposite him. The little girl squirmed uncomfortably under his gaze as she sat on the cold, hard wood. Her pale face strained as tears ran from big brown eyes and down sore, reddened cheeks. Her curls, long and blonde, were tied out of her face by yellow ribbons that matched the satin and lace dress that she wore. She resembled a porcelain doll, except for the tears.

He suddenly ceased his painting to reach over to a nearby trestle table and ring a little gold bell. A butler entered the room, an old man, skinny, with a white face and even whiter hair, wearing a stylish, black, morning suit. The painter waved his arm and the servant nodded. He walked over to the crying child, picked her up and left the room.

The Earl picked up his painting and carefully carried it over to the wall, where he left it.

He untied the thick cord around his waist and took off his robe. His large white cravat flowed down in frills that matched his shirt which was worn under a burgundy twin-breasted waistcoat.

He put on a long black coat and tied his long hair back with a brown leather thong, the shorter curls immediately coming loose to spring back, framing his handsome face.

He smiled to himself as he walked toward the door. He opened it and left the room, walking down a hallway and leaving through a set of double doors. He stopped, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it before walking into the night, in search of his next subject.

Author's Note

This is the prologue to Tears For The Wicked please give me honest reviews and helpful critique thank you.

Reviews

[747]

You have extreme attention to detail, which paints a very clear picture in the readers mind. Though, keep in mind sometimes it is unnecessary and clutters your work rather than adding to it.

However, your hook is quite weak. I am more confused than I am intrigued. Adding more backstory of why the girl is there and what he is doing would probably help transform this into a more effective hook.

[BeeBev]

Thank you for your review it is very helpful. The reader will find out the answers in other chapters of the book, I cannot write the reasons in the prologue as it will give too much away but will be uploading chapters one at a time and everything will make more sense.

[TBremmer]

I am definitely interested in reading more. I liked the description, and believe it or not, the lack of dialogue. I think it contributed to the mystery, and didn't cheapen the imagery. My only question, and it may be silly is do you want your reader to believe him old or young? He seemed old, almost gross, at the beginning, but at the end, after he removes his painter's apron, we get a very different view. Do you want that? If not, maybe work to clarify. I look forward to reading the chapters.

[BeeBev]

Hi there thank you for your review i really appreciate it. The guy is around late 40s but is refined and i would even go as far as saying beautiful but he is very grotesque in his nature. This is only the first draft and i will definately take your words on board when i start to edit it more.