Losing a friend

Yeah, this one is completely true *sighs*

I feel like I’m f*****g crazy. I just lost one of my best friends! God I hate this so much. I know I haven’t been updating and I know I’m not current, but Jesus freaking Christ. Someone needs to leave me alone. All I did was ask for boy trouble help and she jumps down my throat. She’s turned into a two-faced b***h now. I can’t believe this at all. That’s another friend gone and I don’t know what to do anymore.

 

I hate life and everything in it, home is just a mess, and my only escape is my computer and my music. And they’re ready to take that too! Just because I don’t meet THEIR standards on everything, on my grades, on my attitude, or anything; I’m just not GOOD enough. NEVER!

 

And then I turn around. I swear I’m insane these days. Of course, my friend tells me something so I look something up for him and link it to him. Yeah, schizophrenia is what I looked up. Of course, I fit all the f*****g categories too!

 

I’m sorry for my language, but I just can’t stand being that quiet person you keep reading about. I’m not quiet in my mind. I want rebellion! And I’ll get it, by damned, I’ll get it. Judge me and everything she did. You are calling me self-absorbed and better than everyone else.

 

At least I didn’t sleep with my boyfriend 3 weeks after we started dating and knowing each other. I’m not calling her a w***e, no, not that, but hell! You could have a little more decency. I mean yeah, I know you like him. But THREE WEEKS; sugar I think you’re just begging for attention.

 

But that’s just my views. It’s stupid how you think I need you around. Because really. I don’t. I’m stronger than you are and I know how to hold my own. My friends are true and they aren’t what you think they are. You’re just a fake

 

It’s not right you think you can play everyone around your little finger, because I don’t fall for it. You’ve changed sweetie and it’s not for the better. You’ve become exactly what I should be and until you see that. I’m sure you’ll be lost

 

In a way I feel sorry for you, but since you rejected me I can’t help you. On lighter terms, in for losing a friend I gained one. He’s gonna be my better friend. The one I can start to tell everything to. Or at least I think I can.

 

That’ll be my next objective. Trying to actually get someone I can open up to instead of this journal. Not saying I don’t like It, but I’m too reserved for my own good. It really isn’t my fault though, everyone else made me like this. The teasing was brutal

 

That’s just how I see it and I don’t know what else to tell you. I just thought I’d update this since I’m severely mad at the moment, and perhaps you’ve already guessed that by the way I’m talking. It’s different, I know, but I’m trying my best not to get horribly pissed off. This is the only way that I can get it out

 

So now I’m down to 3 friends at school that are actually friends. I feel like I’m just you know, dumb. That I’m not really worth anyone’s time at all anymore; and perhaps I’m not. After all I’m not sane, who would want to be friends with a crazy person?

 

Surely not me, though I have a few like that. But I need to quit rambling on and on before I make someone mad, in some way, shape, or fashion. Now you’re terribly curious of who I am, but I won’t tell. No, I won’t tell you my name.

Author's Note

*sighs* nothing to say on this one.

Reviews

[Ourebro.]

I understand what you're saying, but first of all CALM DOWN. Deep breaths.