365 #12: Eyes

the twelth poem of my 365 project.

...almonds.

              [the shape]

 

...sundog.

              [the gleam]

 

...Kachemak Bay.

              [the color]

 

...intellectual playfulness.

(with a bit of tiredness,

a dip of burden,

a trifle charming)

              [the feeling, of course]

 

I'm lost.

              [you hold me prisoner]

Spare me.

              [i can't stand playing pretend]

You're ridiculous

              [for using that perfection against me]

I'm ridiculous

              [for allowing myself to fall into those depths]

Reviews

[Kayte Electric]

I like this. The ending does need work, it comes off a little anticlimactic. But I like how the work focuses only on the eyes, yet on the person as a whole at the same time. I almost think this poem could end okay without the last stanza? But it's up to you! I like how you're playing around with spacing/punctuation/capitalization in your recent work. Good job!!(: