Chapter Seven

Short. No dialog. Probably boring. Sorry about that.

              I sleep all day, wake up for dinner, go to sleep again, have nightmares, and cry. That is my daily routine now. I don't go to school. I don't leave the house. And I don't know what else to do. The bills are going to be due soon, but I have no money. Danika can't pay for an entire funeral, and I don't have enough to help that much. I should probably get a job, but what am I really good for?

            Rory gets groceries to make food every night. He pretty much lives here now. Every morning he wakes me up, tells me he's leaving for school, and tells me not to do anything dangerous while he's gone. When he gets home he does his homework, helps me with mine, and I go to sleep again. I don't know what he does between when he does homework and when he wakes me up to eat. Maybe he goes out with Mike and Jett, maybe he watches TV, and maybe he doesn't do anything. Who knows?

            Once in a great, great while I leave the house. This only happens once a month. I leave the house to sit on the porch and watch the birds in the backyard because I'm getting sore from lying in bed all the time.

            When I sit outside Rory sits with me. He doesn't say much, but that's okay with me. I don't like speaking that much. What is there to talk about? I don't do anything, and he tries to take care of me. That's all that happens.

            I still don't understand why Rory takes care of me. Most people would just come round to visit once in a while, tell me it will get better, and take off. Hell, Mike and Jett only come around once a week and they only stay long enough to eat dinner with us.

            Danika comes over once or twice a week. She tells me about the current events, the news, and even a little town gossip. I'm glad to see her, because she distracts me for a few hours and I almost feel alright when she is here.

            Rory tries to do the same thing, but I just end up falling asleep against his shoulder after a little bit. I don't know what it is; his voice just makes me fall asleep. That and I'm always tired and I fall asleep easily anyway.

            I feel bad because Rory wastes so much time here. He should go hang out with the guys, and act like he usually does. But he just seems quiet and distant. I wonder if he thinks about his mom. He told me about her the night It happened.

            Rory told me a little more about his mom. He told me that she was a very strict woman, and she would chase him around with a wooden spoon when he would break things on accident. But she never once hit him. She just frightened him some.

            His father hit him. Every time Rory messed up a little he was slapped. He told me about it one time while he was trying to talk to me like Danika does. That time I didn't fall asleep, instead I cried. Rory got upset and told me to go to bed because it was late, but I saw he was starting to cry and he didn't want me to see.

            Rory is always trying to hide tears from me. Even at the funeral he refused to look directly at me because he didn't want to cry. I don't know why he does this.

            The funeral was a few months ago. I went because I knew it would be disrespectful not to. I did my makeup nicely, took all my piercings out, wore a dress and heels, everything. I did my best to look as nice as I could.

            Why? Well, if Paavo could see, I didn't want him to see me looking like a wreck. He wouldn't like that. It would upset him.

            I wish I could apologize to every one that I have lost. I have been a horrible person to my family my whole life. It makes me sick to know that I have taken them for granted and the only thing that got me to realize it is death.

            I wish I could just get the chance to see all of them again. I want to properly say goodbye to my parents. I want to tell my grandma I love her no matter how many times I scream 'I hate you' in her face. I want to tell Paavo that he is the reason I am going to strive to be a better person from now on.

            But I can't even leave my bed. So how will I ever do such impossible things? I'm useless. At this point I'm nothing more than a f*****g vegetable. Rory should just leave me here and stop wasting so much time trying to make me better. I can't get better. I've messed up my life and now all I have left is myself. He shouldn't have to be dragged down with me. He has no reason to. Who would even waste this much time on a failure?

Author's Note

I have to write at lightning speed now because one of my friends is threatening me unless I get her more chapters soon haha. so sorry if writing it quickly is ruining the quality (if there ever was any)

Reviews

[GrandDystopia]

Didn't notice any differance in the quality of your writing, like always this was a good read, i like how this rewrite has been more emotional and powerful than originally, it's been very enjoyable and i agree with your friend, get more done!