Ocean

A character that almost had a home, but I got pissed off and burned his notebook.

Ocean sat in his seat in complete silence. No one sat next to him. A chair on either side, both empty. He is happy for it. If someone sat next to him, he wouldn't have the slightest idea how to communicate with them. Ever since that afternoon, three weeks ago, he can't figure out how to create words and force them past his lips. They all hide. Or are they teasing him? Are the words he so badly wants to speak, no, scream, making fun of him? Are they purposely sneaking away so he has no means of telling anyone what he feels? He wants to yell to his father that he hates that b*****d for letting him die. He wants to shout in his mothers face that it's her damn fault that he had to put a bullet in his head three weeks ago.
But the words are gone. The anger is there. That anger refuses to leave him to grieve peacefully. Ocean wants to let all that anger out, every last bit. But those f*****g words ran away from him and left him to tear himself apart from the inside out with anger and hatred.
If only he didn't have to go. If only that day, three weeks ago, didn't have to happen. Maybe, Ocean thought, if he begged God enough, that day could be erased. If that day was erased Ocean wouldn't have this anger and hatred, he wouldn't have to try to find his words, he wouldn't have to grieve, he wouldn't be on a plane to Scotland to live with his crazy Aunt Ellie for the summer in the hopes that he wouldn't put a bullet in his own head, he wouldn't hate his parents and blame them for the death. None of this would be happening. If that day never happened, his family could be sitting around the table right now eating a vegan dinner while his father smoked a cigarette and his mother told them stories about fictional kingdoms and fantasy creatures to entertain them.
But that day did happen. His brother is dead, committed suicide, and the family is in disarray.
Ocean hates his stupid f*****g brother for this. At least, he wishes he could hate him, but he can never find the words to say it.

Author's Note

That was a lot to get out. Ocean is a character I'm really close to (if that makes any sense at all) and it feels really good to get him out there. The notebook he had before that I burned no one saw, and he hated that. But sorry for another pointless ramble.