Lonely

Nothing much, just a chapter

I look out the window at the cloudy city beyond. The streets below are drenched in rain. It has rained all day. I don't know why I didn't go for a walk today. I usually go out when it rains because I love it. But today I just don't feel like leaving the couch and the warm blanket.
Suddenly the doorbell rings. I glare at it. Who the hell is coming to my door at this time? I don't want to be around people! They all just betray me, why do they keep coming back? People have never been nice to me.
"Florence? It's Kenneth..." He calls through the door.
I kick the blanket to the floor and get up. Kenneth looks concerned when I open the door. Why is he worried? Did something happen? "Come in." I mutter. Kenneth glances around at my apartment as he takes his shoes off.
"You haven't been at class all week." He states.
"I've been... Sick." I lie to him.
"No you haven't. Don't lie to me, I know that you aren't doing alright." Kenneth frowns.
I hate that I can't lie well. "I've been fine." I growl.
Kenneth puts his hands on my shoulders and spins me around to face the room. "Look at your apartment. You aren't fine. Everything is untouched except for the blanket on the couch. You haven't left the couch for an entire f*****g week, Florence. Why? That's all I want to know. Why would you sit there staring at nothing?" He tells the truth in a harsh and angry way. I don't know why he would get mad about this.
"What's so wrong with that? I've been sick." I pretend to have no idea what he is talking about.
"Go sit. You need someone to take care of you if you won't do it yourself." Kenneth lets go of my shoulders and walks into the kitchen. I go back to the couch and bundle up in the blanket.
"Get off the couch. I don't want you thinking that's your new home." Kenneth grumbles from the kitchen.
"What is your issue?" I glare at him as I slide onto the floor. He is overreacting about this! I've just not been feeling well. Next week I'll be perfectly fine and it will be like this never happened.
"My issue is that it's been a week since you have left that damn couch! I hate to tell you this, but that's pathetic!" He shoots back at me.
"Why are you so angry?" I ask. His yelling frightens me a bit.
"I talked to Malinda." He sounds calmer, like he realized how upset he was.
"What did she tell you?" I ask, fear forcing its way into my voice. There are so many things Malinda could have said to Kenneth that I don't want him to know.
"She told me that she wants to help you, but can't. You don't listen to her when she tries to talk to you about problems." Kenneth opens the fridge door. I hear rustling. "All of this is rotten. How long have you gone since you ate?"
"I think I ate Tuesday." I didn't realize it until now.
"Jesus." Kenneth mutters. "You know what else she told me?" He shuts the fridge door and walks into the living room.
"What?" I ask, hoping it isn't what I think it is.
"You tried to kill yourself last year. You did this exact same thing, too. You disappeared for a week. Malinda found you passed out with a bottle of pills." Kenneth sits on the floor next to me. "Why?"
"I don't know. I felt hopeless, confused, unwanted." I pull the blanket up over my face and shut my eyes. Maybe my eyelids will hold in the tears.
"Malinda told me that she has talked calmly to you for years, trying to get you to understand that you're sick and you still don't get it. I'm here to yell at you and make you face the facts." Kenneth yanks the blanket away from my face. "Don't cry." He sounds sympathetic now.
"How am I not supposed to cry? You barge into my house and shout at me and tell me I'm sick! I haven't taken my pills in a month, I don't need this!" I shout at him and jerk the blanket back over my head like a child.
"It has been a month since you took your medication? Really Florence? Get up right now and come with me to the kitchen. I will force one of those pills down your throat if I have to!" Kenneth pulls me off the floor and drags me to the kitchen by my wrist. I try to dig my feet down to not have to follow, but Kenneth is stronger than me.
Kenneth takes a cup out of the cupboard and fills it with water. He hands it to me as he picks up my medicine bottle. He checks the dose before pouring two pills out. I glare at the little white tablets. I don't need medicine. I'm not sick!
"Take them." Kenneth holds his hand out. I shake my head. "Take the medicine. Now."
"No." I defy.
"You need them." He thrusts his hand toward me.
"No I don't." I take a step back.
"Remember what I said? I will force you to take your medication." Kenneth takes the cup from my hand and sets it on the counter.
"You can't force me and I'm not taking them!" I shout in his face. Kenneth looks furious and I become afraid of what he will do.
"You need your damn medicine because if you don't take it you will die!" Kenneth grabs my arm and holds me still.
"I won't die." I frown.
"Yes you will! You will kill yourself like you tried to last year!" Kenneth lets go of my arm but before I can get away he is already forcing the pills into my mouth. I scream and try to hit him, but it doesn't stop him. He pours the water in my mouth to wash the pills down.
"You creep. I should report you for abuse." I push him away.
"How is this abuse? I'm making sure you get better!" Kenneth yells at me.
"Why?" I yell back. "Why do you even care if I kill myself?"
"Because you are a person. And people deserve to live. I know that you aren't happy right now, but in a few days you could be happy again! You are bipolar and your moods change all the time. If you do something stupid now, you will miss out on all the high points in life. There are tons of them!" Kenneth pulls a paper towel off the roll and dries my face off from the water.
"Okay." I still don't understand why he cares, but at least he isn't shouting at me anymore.
"I'm sorry for yelling. I just got really upset and Malinda said talking things out doesn't register with you. If you start listening, I'll stop yelling." Kenneth pulls me into a hug.
"Deal?" I ask.
"Deal." He says.

Author's Note

Really long and probably confusing. I will explain more in the next few chapters. And Kenneth isn't an abusive ass, I know that's what he sounds like in this chapter, but he really isn't.