Hospital Rooms

Mostly going to be Aubrey's emotions and thoughts, not a lot of action.

It's so lonely here in the hospital. I don't get visited a lot anymore. Sometimes I will go a few days without a friend or family member stopping by. It's competition season, so everyone is probably out of town. I tell myself that over and over, but I know it isn't true. I made all of them mad, they don't want to come back.
Trav is angry because I yelled at him every time he came last week. Chase didn't come by regularly anyway. My parents are too busy scolding me to realize that I am in the worst pain ever, when I told them this they shouted that they hate me and won't ever come back.
Some other riders have stopped by while in town to talk about stupid fmx things at least, and Broderick still comes to say hi everyday. They are the only people that I see any more. Even the doctors quickly leave after a week or so.
Last week a doctor was muttering things about the 'stupidity of youth today' and how 'girl's should be in the kitchen, not the racetrack'. Every day that he came in he had a new reason to yell at me. I got sick of it and threw the disgusting hospital food at him. The fake mashed potatoes splattered all over the back of his coat and the gravy matted in his hair. I screamed and yelled at him about how much I hated everything about him. He threw his clipboard on the ground and ripped my IV out. What a child. I haven't seen him since, which is definitely a good thing.
Before him there was a woman that would come in everyday and tell me about how much she pitied me because I will never walk again because of a silly mistake. It was the same thing everyday. I know that this is all my fault, d****t, I don't need daily reminders. I got angry and yelled at her. She left crying, telling me that all she wanted to do was help.
I hate these people. It seems like everyone looks at me differently now. I used to be Indestructible Aubrey, the great FMX legend that could do anything and recover from any crash. I was tough as nails, I competed with the best men in the sport and beat them. Now, I'm flimsy, broken, crushed, and ruined. I am no longer Indestructible Aubrey and it pisses me off.
A new face walks into the room. She looks at me with kind eyes that have seen a lot working in the hospital. There is a lot of understanding behind those eyes. She smiles and introduces herself. "I'm Carla, I'm your new doctor." She says with the nicest, cheeriest voice I have ever heard.
"Hello Carla." I smile back. Something tells me that this doctor will be different. "Why are you here?"
Carla sits in the chair that Broderick usually sits in. It's strange to see a new body there. "I have had a lot of experience with situations like yours." She answers my question vaugly.
"So... You're here to try to lecture me and/or make me feel better." I frown.
"No, no. I just want to be here to help. If you ever have a problem, I'm willing to listen. That's why the hospital assigned me to be your doctor and caretaker here." Carla smiles.
"Ok." I don't really get any of it. "Are you a psychologist then? I'm not crazy." I start to fumble with the heart moniter on my finger. It bothers me all the time.
"I'm a psychologist of sorts, yes." Carla answers. "But I'm not here because you are crazy. I'm here because you are in a rough and emotional period in your life." She reaches out and rubs my hand.
Like hell this is a rough and emotional time in my life. I won't walk again d****t! Why is she telling me things I already know? Sometimes I wonder if people actually understand how I feel. This isn't smooth sailing and 'oh, that sucks'. This is a rickety boat trapped in a storm in the middle of the sea.
"I kind of know the emotions you are feeling right now." Carla interrupts my thoughts. "My son was bmx rider, not quite as dangerous as what you did but it still has risks. One night he was riding with some friends. They always encouraged him to do dangerous things." She shakes her head before continuing. "He ended up tumbling down a large flight of cement stairs. He broke his femur in three places and his ankle was shattered. He can't walk right now. He's going through rehab to strengthen it though." Carla smiles hopefully. I can see that she cares a lot about her son and is terribly worried about him.
"Is he getting better?" I ask.
"Sadly, no." Carla frowns a little but hides it from me. "He's still determined to walk again."
"That's good, that he's determined." I mutter, unsure of what I should say.
Carla stands and goes over to the foot of my bed. She grabs the clipboard that sits there and goes over all the things that the other doctors have written. I guess she has other patients to tend to and her time sitting and talking with me is up.
"I'll stop by later, okay? I want to get to know you more, Aubrey." She smiles before closing the door. None of the other doctors ever adressed me by my name, it's strange that she does. Maybe it's just something she does.
I sink down into the uncomfortable hospital bed. Why is everything here uncomfortable? I sigh. Hopefully I can leave soon, but I'm stuck here until my bones heal up more. I still have my jaw rubberbanded, my ribs still hurt all the time, my arms are getting better and I can move them. Then there's my legs.
My legs hurt a lot in some places and are completely numb in others. The doctors say this is because there was nerve damage when the crash happened. Some days I just want to cry because the pain from my legs is so bad, yet there are days when they just have dull ahces.
I wonder if any one will come to visit. Broderick already stopped by today, so he won't be coming back. Are there any competitions in town? If so, maybe a group of the riders will come by.
Who am I kidding, no one likes talking to me. I'll just go to sleep instead of thinking about things.

Author's Note

I talked to a friend about how she would feel in Aubrey's situation, that's how I got all of the things that happen in this chapter.