Music

Waking up in the hospital to music.

There's a sound. It's a beeping. Repetitive and headache inducing. But there's also another noise. It's soothing and relaxing. It's something familiar, a tune that I used to hum a lot.
Like a giant
Beast with many souls
No
Just a body
Full of holes
When I’m awake enough
I’m gonna shake it off
I try to place it. I know this song. But instead of remembering the song, I remember the people I associate it with.
Images of Broderick appear faintly. Blurry images. Lips move, but there isn't sound with this memory.
I'm more alert now. Things are coming together in my head. A dull pain blankets my entire body. It's not anything that bothers me though. It just feels like I'm sore after a long jog or something.
There's someone in the room with me. I hear them mumbling the words to the songs. It's a soft, familiar voice.
I look around, trying to find the owner of the voice. It's Broderick sitting in a chair. He looks pale and tired.
"Broderick." I mutter. My words are weak and my throat feels soar.
"Aubrey? Are you awake?" He looks up. A weak smile forms on his face. "It's been a month since you..."
A month since what? Why did he stop speaking?
"Why are you here?" I ask him. There's a depressing aura about this place, no one should want to hang around for a long time. I don't even want to stay and I've only experienced a few seconds of it.
"I'm here because you are." Broderick is terrible of answering questions. I'm still wondering what is happening.
"Is this a hospital?" I ask. Hospital is my first guess. Everything seems so sterile and clean. The walls are a ghostly white, the sheets and the chairs are the same. The only color is a bouquet of flowers in the corner.
"This is a hospital." Broderick answers. "Do you remember anything?"
I think about it. What is the last thing I remember? My mind is blank. All I can think of is the beeping and waking up just a few minutes earlier. "I don't know what happened. Please tell me why I'm here." I try to move so I can face him. Pain holds me back though. It shoots through my entire body and cripples me. Broderick looks sad when he sees me cringe.
"Don't do that, you won't be moving any time soon." He says softly and turns off the radio to talk. "Okay, Aubrey. You were in an accident a month ago, and you have been in a coma ever since."
"That doesn't tell me much." I frown. I was hoping he would be able to tell me what is wrong, why I am in pain, why I've been in a coma, where every one else is. All the things that affect right now.
"I'm not done." He chuckles. "You and your bike fell from forty feet, and your bike crushed you." Broderick's eyes are distant. Is he remembering what happened as he speaks? "We all thought you were going to die. Even the EMTs were doubtful." His voice wavers and tears form in his eyes. He blinks them away quickly. "Pretty much every bone in your body was shattered. You were really unstable for a while because of internal bleeding and that. You broke your jaw in three places, in case you noticed it feeling weird." Broderick laughs as I open my mouth and wiggle my bottom jaw around. It does feel weird and I notice a tingling sensation in my chin. I can't open my mouth all the way either.
"You have rubber bands in right now." He explains. I nod. "There's also something else... I just don't know how to tell you."
I'm suddenly scared. Not just a 'oh no, what is wrong?' but a 'oh my god, this is going to be terrible, I know it, just watch as everything falls apart again'. Broderick looks just as frightened.
"The bones in your legs were shattered. Actually shattered like a plate that got dropped on a stone floor." What is he trying to tell me? I wish he would just say it! "You might not ever walk again."
"That means I can't ride!" I shout as loudly as my jaw will let me.
"How can you be worried about dirt bikes?! This is serious and all you care about is the stupid thing that caused this all! Did that bike crush all of the inteligence out of you?" Broderick snaps, tears in his eyes. "I sat here every day waiting for you to wake up. It's been hell having to think about whether or not you will even remember who I am, when I can't ever forget you."
I start sobbing. Warm tears flow down my cheeks. I don't know what to say to Broderick, or if I should even say anything.
"D****t, Aubrey, I love you a lot, and it pisses me off that you are worried about something as stupid as mx right now." Broderick speaks so quietly that I can barely hear him. Did he say what I think he did?
"You...Love me?" I ask. Broderick looks at me, startled.
"I..." He hesitates. "Yes. I think I do. I mean, for an entire month you have been the only person I can think about. Even before that I would think about something you said or did and smile. It's just weird... I don't know." Broderick continues speaking in that almost-whisper.
I stay silent. My eyes stare at the wall across from me, never looking at Broderick.
"I should go get a doctor and let them know that you have woken up." He leaves.
All I can do now is think. Think about Broderick, the accident, the pain that is getting worse, and the fact that I am an idiot. I caused this to happen. I decided to be reckless and stupid and I almost killed myself. And even now, I think about fmx. What is wrong with me?
I hate myself right now. I'm to blame for my pain and every one else's pain. I haven't talked to my family yet. How is Trav taking this? What are Mom and Dad going to say?
I want to just pretend that none of this is happening and the hospital room isn't here. If I close my eyes and wish it to all be gone, will I wake up in my bedroom and realize this is all a bad dream?