Sometimes Silence Can be the Loudest Sound

A Story by Amour Lunaire

It's a story about a girl who has been a selective mute since she was a young child. But as she graduates highschool some things change for the better, and some for the worse

My name is Natalia Ramos and I’m 18 years old, I go by Talia. Ever since I was born, I’ve refused to speak. It’s not that I’m incapable to speak, because I am, I just don’t. I’m scared to speak. I’m a senior at Beach-Crest High in California. Last week I received notice that I was valedictorian. They’ve already arranged for an interpreter so everyone knows what I’m saying. I’m not happy about this, because I’m known as that weird girl who never speaks. Most people assume it’s because I’m stupid, shocking considering I have the highest G.P.A. by .5, I have a 4.6 G.P.A. I study with my best friend and boyfriend Jonah. He signs with me. He has never asked why I sign and don’t speak but he doesn’t mind. We’ve been together since our freshman year

…

I was a scared freshman who didn’t ever speak. That alone made me an outsider, but no one here knew sign language, so I sat in the office until my interpreter go to the school. That’s when I saw Jonah and his mom. They were signing; Jonah was speaking to the office lady for his mother to excuse his tardiness. Afterwards, his mom left and he sat next to me as he waited for the office lady to print out his schedule.

“Hey” he said to me; probably because he had no idea I didn’t speak

*Hey, I’m Talia* I signed back, praying he understood me

*You sign?* he looked confused *Are you deaf?* He asked me

*No, I’m a selective mute. I don’t speak.* I said back shyly

*Oh, that’s cool. Why are you in the office?* He asked. He was full of questions

*I have to wait for my interpreter to get here* I answered back

*Oh, that sucks. What’s your schedule? Maybe I can be you interpreter in the classes we have together, if any.* He offered

*That’s really nice of you.* I said, and I showed him my schedule. We had all 2 out of our 7 classes together. The only ones we didn’t were gym and art. I could probably manage those two alone. * You’ve got a deal* I said

* Awesome, I’ll explain the arrangement to the office lady* he said as he stood up and walked to the counter.

…

The Principle has just summoned me and Jonah to her office; probably to talk about the speech for graduation. When we get to her office and sit down she starts immediately.

“Talia….” She pauses hesitantly, “ I don’t mean to come off insensitive, as this a sensitive subject towards you I would assume. I don’t think it’s best for you to give the valedictorian speech.” She finishes

*WHAT? That’s crazy. I’ve already got a ton of ideas!* I sign angrily. She looks to Jonah to translate that

“She said she doesn’t understand why you feel that way. She’s already started on the speech” he says

“Well, it’s just that… your classmates might not like to have an interpreter translate what you’re saying. It will most likely lose feeling and depth in translation” Principle Lerner says

*I have something very special planned for the speech, so please don’t take this away from me* I sign with tears in my eyes.

“She said she’s got something special planned for the speech. Please don’t take it away from her” Jonah says. “You’re gonna love it” he adds, despite that fact that he has no idea what I have planned

“Very well” She says “ But I would like to know what it is no later than two days before the graduation.”

*Thank you* and I nod. Principle Lerner knows a bit of sign language. Enough to know I just said thank you.

We get up and leave. I have a Therapist appointment at 5pm and its 3pm so Jonah will drive me to my house hang out then drive me to the appointment.

When we get to my house, I drag him up stairs and sit him on my bed.

* I’m going to tell you my surprise, but you have to promise not to freak out. Okay?* I’m sweating from my secret that I’m about to reveal.

* You can tell me anything Talia, I promise * He says

I take a deep breath and sign, * For my valedictorian speech, I’m going to speak it*

*“ Are you serious?!”*

* Very, I’ve been thinking about it for a while now.* I say * I haven’t spoken in 18 years and it’s time. Can I practice with you?* I say

* Absoluetly!* he says

*Okay, here I go* I say. I check to make sure my door is closed. No one but me has heard my voice.

*You can do it. I love you* he says

“ I…. I-I l-l-l-lov-ve-e y-y-y-oo-u-u t-t-t-too” I say outloud

“Your voice is beautiful Natalia. I have to ask why don’t you speak?”

* I couldn’t answer that if I wanted to. Why do you think I go to a therapist? I go so I can figure out why I don’t talk.* I say * Speaking of which we are going to be late. Come with me today? * I add

*Sure, I guess* he says * But first, I need to do something* he says

*What do you need to do?* I ask

* Kiss a beautiful girl* he says with a smile on his face.

He kisses me on my forehead, then cheek then lips and we head out the door.

“* So this is the infamous Jonah*” says Rebekah, my therapist.

*Yes, it is.* I sign

“* So… why is he here today?*” she asks

* I’ve decided something. Something big, you’re going to be very proud. It’s true progress* I say proudly

“*Oh? And what might that be?*”

* Today, I spoke to Jonah.*

“* Really? That’s amazing. The first time in 18 years. The last noise you made was a cry as a baby. What did you say?*

“ She said ‘I love you too’ says Jonah. Reminding us that he was there. “ There’s more too, tell her Talia”

*I was chosen as valedictorian, and so, to make it special; I’m going to say the speech. Out loud.*

“* That is an amazing choice. I am proud. Natalia, may I here you speak? *”

*…. Sure I guess. What do you want me to say?*

“* Let’s start easy. Say ‘ My name is Talia’ for me*”

“M-my n-nam-me i�"is T-t-talia”

“Wow, amazing. Such an…. Un discovered voice. Pure to say the least.” She says with awe. “You have a stutter though. Is that why you don’t speak Talia? Because you’re embarrassed by it? This could be a major psychological breakthrough for you” The excitement is barely contained in her voice

I’m happy she thinks this could be true but I know deep inside that’s not why. I can sing without a single stutter. I stutter because my vocal chords haven’t been used in 18 years. They’re rusty so to say.

*I know this is exciting for you but that’s not it. I sing. Alone. A lot. Without a stutter. I’m just not used to talking* I sign, sorry to break her spirit * May I sing a bit for you both? By the way: My speaking/signing and the speech stay in the room. My family cannot know. I want this to be a surprise for graduation*

*Okay I promise* signs Rebekah

*ok* I sign. I decide to sing my favorite song for them. Demi Lovato’s Fix a heart.

“I only want what’s best for you. And If I’m what’s best you for you, then I guess that you’re stuck.” I can’t tell if the look on their faces are from me being good or me not being shy and sucking so much.

“W-well then” I say outloud

“* It was….. an anomaly, amazing, powerful, pure. Are you planning to sing as well for the speech?*” Rebekah asks

“* If you did, I would melt and so would the rest of the class. You’ve got to Talia*” says Jonah

*yeah I guess, but I’m going to need a lot of practice speaking to get rid of this stutter and to write the speech. Rebekah, pencil me every other day for the next 3 weeks. Until the day before graduation. Jonah, you’ll come over everyday and help me speak and write this speech and sing my song. This will. Be epic!*

They both look stunned my ferocity and drive to do this. I’m excited to break out of this shell, and finally shine.

Over the next three weeks, I heard chatter of my impending speech and how they hated to listen to an interpreter when I need to say something. Little did they know they were in for a big surprise.

So,” beings Principle Lerner, “What’s you big surprise for tomorrow Ms. Romas

“This” I say solidly. She looks as if she’s imagining things. “ I plan, on speaking, my speech, tomorrow afternoon. Please keep this, under wraps, until then.” I say a bit hesitantly

“Oh my…. Go-. Yes, absolutely. You have such a pure voice.” she says

*Thank you* I sign and get up to leave.

It’s 8 am the day of graduation. I’m putting on my new grey and white dress when my fraternal twin sister Natasha, or Tasha comes in and sits on my bed, still in her pajamas. She has always had an issue with my not speaking. Being my sister would be hard enough as is, but being my twin sister, she has always lived in my shadow. People always take an interest in my quirk, or my smarts, or not to be conceited but, my beauty. I feel bad for her. She refuses to sign to me because it makes my “ illness” as she calls it, a normality when it isn’t.

“ You know, a lot of people are coming today” she says

I nod

“You should’ve let Zach Grimes give the speech. He’s the salutatorian and he actually uses his mouth to speak to people like normal human beings” she says snarkily

I point my finger toward the door telling her to get out. She does as asked and closes the door behind her.

I sit on my bed and think if I really want to go through with this. I don’t have to do this. I’ve been completely silent for almost 18 years and I don’t have to stop now. I’d probably marry Jonah and we’d have kids who know how to sign. Hopefully none of them would end up like me but I doubt it’s genetics. I’m one of a kind. Ha-ha, a freak of nature.

NO. I won’t let Tasha get to me. I’m going to do this. I have to do this. People have never been directly rude to me about not talking. It’s become the norm. I’m doing this for them. For all of us

They’ve just called me up to give the valedictorian speech. The interpreter gets up along with me. I’ve told him to stop speaking after my signal. And so I begin

*As all of you know, I don’t speak, I’ve been silent my whole life. 18 years, I can’t tell you why, because I myself do not know, but today, The silence ends* I sign to the interpreter to stop speaking.

“My name is Talia Romas, and I’ve lived in San Diego, California for my entire life” I say

The crowd is in awe and my family stands up and is crying. They’ve never heard my voice up until this moment. I fight back tears and continue on.

“ I was always that shy little girl down the street who never said anything to you.” I say,

“For some time, you all thought it was because I was extremely shy but I would break out of my shell. By fourth grade, It became painfully obvious, that I was never going to speak. But then I came to Beach-Crest High School. The motto is ‘Where you’re treated like family, because you are family.’ I was always skeptical of the motto because whatever school I went to, I was treated as an outsider. On the first day of school, I met someone, someone who was incredibly nice to me, even though I was weird. We bonded. Other students were a bit weirded out by my lack of speech, but quickly became… used to the idea. The school was so accommodating to my needs. Principle Lerner has never be so much as unfair or rude to me. The teachers were so amazing. They never singled me out or picked on me. They respected my difference and only made me speak or sign if everyone else did or I had something to ask or add. This school has always made me feel welcome and accepted. The Senior class is an amazing group of people. Katelyn, you’re headed to Harvard for Law school. Thomas, you’re going to be a biochemical engineer. Alyssa, you’re going to be a doctor. Jonah, you’re going to be a children’s psychologist and the rest of us are also going to do amazing things in this world. I’m so proud to be a member of the 2013 senior class. We are a family, loved by one another. This is the most I ever spoken, and couldn’t have picked a better time to do so. I have one last thing to say to you guys: I love you all AND WE DID IT! I’d like to sing a song for you all if you don’t mind.

I hear the intro to Gold by Britt Nicole and start singing By the time I finish, there is a massive applause and from what I can see, there are tears in their eyes. I walk down and go to my seat. But before I have chance to sit down the whole class is engulfing me in a massive group hug.

I’ve never been happier in my life. I feel like an enormous weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I sit with tears streaming down my face but with a smile.

They call my name and the entire audience is cheering. As I walk across the stage, I see Tasha reach her seat. She looks me dead in the eyes but not with admiration or tears like everyone else, I see rage. I guess some things will never change. I hope that in the near future we can sit down and just talk it all out. But for now that has to wait. I just graduated high school!

“ Hey babe! We’re no longer high school students! What now?” Jonah asks

“well, I was thinking Tomorrow I would hit the beach and have a little R&R with someone I love” I answer back

“And who might that be?”

*You, I love you Jonah, forever and ever*

*To infinity and beyond baby… and beyond*

He takes my hand and we walk across the lawn, across the parking lot, leaving our cars be and take a walk around the school, where it all started, where we started. Then we leave and walk into forever, hand in hand.