I have been hurt, but not by love itelf

The little mouse defies the owl,

but only when a higher need,

stands shoulder to the hunter's wing

and makes hurt seem a welcome thing;

when sustenance from winter's chill,

is all and more his heart desires

and shows the cycle of the year,

is more compelling than his fear.

It is the same with hopeless love,

where disregard stood tall between

is far more hurtful than disdain,

for then, 'tis only me I blame;

and though my bones are richly jewelled 

they are as thin, as thin can be,

as self on self, alone I stand,

forever reaching for your hand.

So take this hand, if not this heart,

hold me, keep me safe the while

and let the hour pass slow away,

though time will always hold its sway;

the same when I was but a child

and craving of a higher need,

when silence was the cruellest sin

and made hurt seem a welcome thing.

Reviews

[Neville]

You are just so darn good with the tools that poets wield ... my words dont do ya justice.. but mark them... they are well and truly meant... Seasons best dear friend to both you and the lad Charlie x

[emipoemi]

This is Wordsworth-influenced all over. Love it! Some unnecessary commas, the "upwards" in Stanza 2 is neither needed to convey the message (and it also mars the beautiful musicality), and the "is" Stanza 2 Line 3, by the look of the progression, should be "it's" (or, since we're using the Romantic Era lingo, "tis").

But this is beautiful, Beccy!! Much enjoyed! The rhyme scheme is uniquely intriguing too, and you executed it stupendously. Well done!

[Jimmy Yetts]

Like many people, it seems, you have been hurt by the lack of demonstrable love.
Undeclared love can often be interpreted as its lack; indifference makes an even more definitive statement.
A poignant and beautifully portrayed poem, Beccy--profound, in its implications.

[Eilis]

I've read this several times and each time it is saying something different to me. I have come to understand that you explore deeper ideas in your poems than the surface of the words wants to easily give away. So, as I read this, I think about a deeper human need where the individual is hungering, but beyond that, there are scores of people suffering under deep need as well.

I enjoy the beginning idea of the mouse and the owl. The predator prey connection set alongside the idea that even the predator can be disarmed when need grows deep enough. There are needs that go beyond the immediate and into something less easy to articulate, or perhaps less accessible. There's a kind of comfort in the mouse's temporary evading of the owl, but also the understanding that there will be other moments when the owl won't be similarly distracted.

I know a lot of children suffer from neglect. Sometimes being yelled at is preferable to the loneliness of seeming so insignificant that no one has a word for you. That's where the poem took me at the end. But, also, beyond the idea of the child/parent relationship, this kind of dynamic is always painful. To be filled with feeling but not be acknowledged. It's enough to make a person doubt the validity of their own humanity.

And going back to where I began, I do begin to feel like we are speaking on a larger scale of the ignored and dejected in general. But, love itself (in the individual or collective sense) leaves such a mark on us. When it is not experienced, something fundamental within us shifts.

I enjoyed thinking about this one, Beccy.

[Beccy]

'Sometimes being yelled at is preferable to the loneliness of seeming so insignificant that no one has a word for you.'

Indeed, and thank you so much for your lovely, in depth comment.

Need is a prime drivers of our species. It is instinctive and operates at every level of our conscious and sub conscience self; and children especially, have a need to love and be loved. I actually wrote this after reading about the relationship between Emily Dickinson and her mother. Emily once wrote that she "always ran Home to Awe," (Austin, her older brother,) when a child, if anything befell her. "He was an awful Mother, but I liked him better than none." It affected me deeply as I have always known the exact opposite.

[Eilis]

You’re welcome, Beccy. I wasn’t aware of that history of Emily’s. I need to read more about her. Thanks for sharing your inspiration.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i think this is probably true...to be disregarded is worse than disdain...as children we need to feel love from parents...as we get older we need love from a significant other, no matter how strong we think we are without it.
the analogies here are really strong...and yes, to be hurt in love...is almost better than being alone.
j.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I always say, love is perfect, human beings are not. Tis never love that hurt us but by those that misuse love. Magnificent piece of writing.

[Curtis.Lenker]

This is such an amazing poem. The imagery is awesome. It reflect of our need of love or loved ones. Keep up the great work.

[AYVID N]

This is such a beautiful poem, reflecting on our need for our loved one. Oh how dependent and helpless one seems....just as a child...

[CD Campbell]

I think this is wonderfully melodic beautiful work. It has a melancholy though that is bittersweet in the end. Tough stuff. Unreturned love can twist the guts, but being ignored I guess can be worse.

[emmajoy]

This is more than beautiful and finely worded, dear Beccy. Have read it three times and each time found it touches yet another spot in my heart and mind. Seems in fine meter and language, you're displaying an emotionally charged meander through time and how it's been, how you feel right up to those two final lines. .

This is remarkable and more than touching.. x