Commuting

It starts earlier than you imagine.

Look at all the motor cars, like sardines in a row,

mostly playing stumble start, hardly ever go.

But it gives me pause for watching

little creatures as they play,

in the hedgerows and the verges,

the rich and verdant clay;

where they frolic and they ponder,

just why we spend our time,

in pursuit of the pointless,

lost to slow, corrosive greed;

not looking to the left or right

as we scorn the greater need.

And against the morning sun we drive, 

to where the skyline greets our day,

where smokestack, steeple, brick and block,

chart natures slow decay.

To hour on hour of vassalage

far from the ploughmans' tread,

where none ought tell you join them,

although 'tis often said.

Then it's back beneath the evening sky,

to chores and apron strings,

to memories of a joyous past

when we played on slides and swings.

When our world was one of make believe,

and our delight was still to run,

fast as the wind, then faster still, 

beneath the sky and sun. 

Where all that ever counted, 

was the set and shape of things,

when we flew in sunsets scattered gold,

testing our fledgling wings.

Drank deep the draught of childhood,

feared naught but friendships lost,

assumed our right of passage, 

never thought about the cost;

that we were being programmed 

by those desks set in a row, 

to enter into servitude

not reap what we might sow.

But still with tireless shoulders bare

we danced and danced, light as the air,

our shadows running swift and far

and eyes more bright than any star;  

poised on the path as if beguiled,

until in silent interlude, the moon

slipped lost behind a cloud;

and time was called... 

though never called aloud.  

Oh; just look at all the motor cars, like sardines in a row,

mostly playing stumble start... Hardly ever go.

Oh, look at all the children, already tamed and trained,

'tis the school run quintessential, less the melody unchained.   

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

When I think of all the years I commuted, either stuck on the motorway or in a packed train carriage. Thankfully behind me now. The scurry at the train station, yes like busy ants we were. All that time wasted on reflection, when I could have been doing something far more enriching for my soul. Excellent poetry Beccy.

Chris

[Jimmy Yetts]

Insights of a clear-eyed and consistently engaged woman.
It's not that ant-colony behavior, on the part of humans, doesn't, collectively, serve a purpose;
it's that such apish, dreary repetitiousness is repugnant--and cynically laughable--to the discerning
individual.
Lovely, child-like perceptions; brilliant poetry!

[barleygirl]

"Commuting" is an excellent VEHICLE to encapsulate how we humans have turned into lemmings. I haven't done much of the bumper-to-bumper kind of commuting, but there are many different kinds. I love that your poem is heavy on the ANTITHESIS of commuting. Instead of going on & on about the stink of commuting, you show this best by depicting what is NOT commuting. Being a wilderness person, I've spent my life looking down on massive grids of humans living jam-packed (such as the San Francisco Bay Area) & it looks like a planet I don't recognize & where I don't want to live. This doesn't even address the global warming aspect of all that f*****g exhaust being pumped into the air without any visible progress being made in terms of movement *sigh!* Fondly, Margie

[Pete]

it's hell. a lot of truth in what you describe. the system teachers and enforces conformity in the name of money. what about nature, truth and individualism which goes against the grain of man's institutions. packed like sardines and lemmings to get back and forth to jobs we despise. the nations roadways are clogged - has reached problem levels in boston (where i live) and they want to do something about it like more work-from-home and off-hours work. i was recently talking with friends about how i don't enjoy driving anymore like i used to when i was younger - i just end up frustrated, stressed-out and angry before i even get to where i'm going not to mention parking. good food for thought or something i don't enjoy thinking about ... :)

[Beccy]

So true when you say In the name of money; it's an agenda, the vested interest now more powerful than ever before.

When the wheel does finally come off, which history charts is the inevitable conclusion of the few versus the many; there is going to be one heck of a collision.

[Pete]

indeed. it will be ugly and is starting to get ugly as the system is running out of time and solutions ... :)

[Beccy]

The real problems always come when the vested interests start running scared. Hong Kong Vs China being a good case in point.

[Pete]

that's why they want rigid control. when people start thinking for themselves and asserting freedom things get ugly ... :)

[R.E. Ray]

Beccy, as I read this I nodded in agreement, recalling my days commuting in Washington, DC, even on the trains. We're like programmed, driven cattle, shoved into narrow chutes, and we drag along our children on this monotonous daily voyage, programming them, too. Yet, those pauses, the moments we want to thump on the horn and steering wheel, we're better to immerse ourselves in the beauty and amusement that surrounds us. Sometimes, even a yellow dandelion, growing between a crack in the blacktop, catches my eye. Sometimes it's the perspective and the pause that save us... when we're not traveling 60 mph. One of my favorites from you. Truly good stuff!

[Beccy]

It's the pauses that matter most; none should ever be missed or taken for granted.

'Sometimes, even a yellow dandelion, growing between a crack in the blacktop, catches my eye.'

Indeed! And there, in those few lovely words, is a poem in the making.

Beccy.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

This reminds me of a video that I saw some time ago. The gentleman was talking about how our education system literally has not changed over the decades and how, still today, children are being taught to suppress individuality, critical thinking, and independent thinking. They are being ingrained and trained to just get in line and follow everyone else. To be honest, it amazes me that nothing has changed. Then, on the other hand, it doesn't. So many parents have handed their children over for indoctrination and have abdicated their responsibility as parents. You touch upon this greatly with fluidity and grace, your voice beautiful to be heard.

[Pryde Foltz]

We are indeed programmed by nature and society. Learning to unprogram yourself is no easy task. I suppose we still remain programmed, only we choose our programming.

Loved this intelligent and elegant write:)

[emmajoy]

' .. we danced and danced, light as the air, - our shadows running swift and far - and eyes more bright than any star; '

You've written this with not only insider knowledge but a mother's heart. Becky - and used such fine language and meter. I near skipped down the page first time.. it's flow was so natural. But, on second reading i truly appreciated your thoughts on how it could be if children were allowed more time to learn whilst adventuring the facts given rather than mere words. Guess there needs be a certain amount of restraint in a classroom but not to the point of restraining small children's natural inquisitiveness. I need to find a song by Harry Chapin that our Josh loved.. will add it..

https://youtu.be/7qrbNygL0YU

Hugs, thanks and happy happies.

[Robert Trakofler]

well thank goodness your son has you for a teacher to brush off some of those classroom programmings and give him sights to some of the right things too:) to say that i love this and agree with so much of it would be an understatement of monumental proportions... good god this is wonderful the structure rhyme scheme messages and flow... just lovely, delicious lines Beccy an instant favorite!

[Eilis]

This is largely why I decided to teach my own children. There is so much more to life than being what is expected, but often we don't understand that until it's too late to sensibly pursue our passions or something that would contribute to the greater good.

As of now, my children are both passionate about nature and finding ways to make a real difference where they can. They were arguing this afternoon while we were walking about who loves reptiles more. Ok. I love that. But, I also worry that they will not be emotionally prepared for the world as so many children are learning to see it today. And they will have to face that world as adults. So, I have to think about ways to balance things.

It's tough--like your poem says there's a kind of formula and we are all expected to meet certain criteria and live our lives in some kind of mindless algorithms. But deviating too much leaves you alienated in different ways. I like the way your poem dances along in the rhythm and lulls the reader in the same ways that life does. We say we will only do something for a short time and then we look back and it's been twenty years. Where did our lives go?

Great contemplation here, Beccy. Your poems always offer something important to ponder.

[Beccy]

There is much that is wrong in this world today and I suppose I ought not cavil overmuch about the the concepts on which the edifice of capitalism was built.

But I visited my old primary school a short while back; and my visit, where I saw all the children sitting obediently at their desks, wearing exactly the same uniform and doing exactly as instructed, sowed the seed for this poem.

I fully understand and appreciate that our society needs structure and that in order to learn, to expand our horizons, we need to be taught. But the system itself demands from the start that we sing the company song; that we limit and subjugate those very horizons we aspire to.

I admire very much that you home teach; but as you say, it's a balancing act, particularly as the cards are mostly stacked in favour of those who wish to maintain what is a very unbalanced status quo.

Beccy,