Rendezvous

Wrote this a while back. Just thought I'd dust it off.

   

She's sipping her coffee slowly,

perfectly painted nails tapping on the
chipped Formica. She looks out of place,

not normally a greasy spoon cafe for her,

the menu, chips with everything,
disdainfully dismissed.

I like her hair, silk, rather than cotton,

it goes with her demeanor,

cool, like clear water flowing over stone,

unrippled, save for one little furrow line

on her otherwise perfectly smooth brow.

I'd like to ask her, 

why the diversion from Langan's Brasserie?

But that would be rude of me,

I am, after all, simply there to serve the whim;

and only on Saturdays, bridging the gap

between student loan and poverty.

At first, there is just a reflection in the window,

then I see him, far more in place than her.

Hands that work for a living, steel toecaps,

physically superior; like a lion among lambs

as he nods in her direction, then beckons. 

She takes a last, hasty sip, 

carefully smooths out the silk,

catching my eye as she stands, 

the tip, guiltily generous;

her patterns gone, leaving only

a faint hint of Clive Christian in the air, 

and it's business as usual again.   

I don't know whether to envy or pity her.  

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

This is a really well written piece. It's one of those situations that occur regularly, but which are only perceived and understood by the observant. We are entranced by the appearance of this lovely woman until the speaker abruptly pulls the rug from under us with the line, " and it's business as usual again." The speaker's ambivalence in the last line is also revealing. Well done.

[Lea Sheryn]

Lovely. I can see her sitting thers waiting for her man.

[gram linski]

People watching is a great thing, the voyeur always wins, never envy anyone one, pity the poor thing, lol

[john l smith]

A much more pleasant atmosphere than is often displayed on a seedy street corner where more than steel toes display their purchasing power

[barleygirl]

You tell a story in verse that sounds like no other (love originality) yet also very relatable & I can picture each scene you paint in words. It's too bad that people are often described & evaluated in terms of what "class" they belong to, as in your message. I hate this way of seeing people, but you've painted it in a very authentic way. Intriguing how you use a voyeuristic point of view (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[kentuck14]

As a yank I'm not sure what "Clive Christian" is.

Beccy,
A good poem, great detail, One is caught up in the narrative. But I am curious . . . is the speaker sitting with his woman or observing from a distance. (I's guess the latter)
Tom

[Beccy]

Hi Tom. Clive Christian is an expensive perfume; the speaker is indeed observing from a distance, (she's a waitress,)

Beccy.

[kentuck14]

Oh, I see . . . clever

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Indeed as Kelly said, you have dusted off an amazing little gem here Beccy. The detail in this well observed still life, caught on 35mm words and ground out like a Pinter play in front of a transfixed audience is magnificent as is the window into your world.

[Jimmy Yetts]

A profoundly captivating portrayal; after reading it, I suddenly realized I hadn't actually been there.
Stunning, Beccy!

[Neville]

this is simply amazing, I really dont think I need say anymore than that, but I am gonna say it again... simply amazing, Best to You & Charlie (not Jack) Neville x

[kitty]

Thanks for sharing this piece Beccy. Takes me back to a short story I started to write - but shelved. It was a rendevous of sorts. This piece takes your reader right into the scene.

[Kelly Scheppers]

You've dusted off quite a little gem, Beccy. How many times, how many men and women have been in such a triangle? I loved the detail you've created here, right down to her perfectly painted nails tapping on the chipped formica. Then the faint hint of Clive Christian in the air. Wow! That's a lump in my throat not easily swallowed. Loved it!