Disco

from a memory of how it was

Pretty little butterflies

dancing in the light,

with escorts bold 

and brooding

waiting out the night;

like moths they are,

like moths drawn to a flame,

with ice cold eyes

and lustful lips

that never ask your name.

Reviews

[Neville]

Absolutely super... and thanks for the ride home Beccy :)

[Beccy]

Thanks Neville. A long time ago now; and perhaps a bit harsh, after all, it does take two to play the game. :))

[Neville]

Time eh' where does it go... as long as you pair are both fine, that's what matters most... go well my friend :)

[Terry O'Leary]

Brutal...
And well done...
Much emotion/feeling with minimal words...
wonderful!!
Terry

[Ed Hart]

the manic congregation of the lonely-hearts...heat and flame that sputters in the night...your pen is like one of those handy multi-bladed utility knives

[Terpsichore]

Nail on the head here Beccy. Your perspective is frighteningly real.


T

[Bear]

Aw the 70's, mirror balls and flashing lights in hypnotic patterns and blasting music with lyrics rich in lust and crowded dance floors with bodies writhing suggestively. Oops, sorry you are too young to have known disco of the 70's. But your description is spot on, the young ladies in their kaleidoscopic apparel and the hungry looks on the faces of their male counterparts. Thank you for sending me back in time, now I feel the need to hear some Bee Gees, Donna Summers, Earth Wind and Fire, KC & the Sunshine Band. Ok, enough of that, it was a nice walk down memory lane, anything I read that can affect me this strong has done a fantastic job. Five out of five Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[M. Shepherd]

So much contrast of fire and ice, of the skin deep beauty of the butterfly and the homeliness of the moth. It speaks to how mixed the feelings are at this particular setting - I know the dance floor and all the firey and wild smitten mania and sensuous sex of it - mixed with outrage and disgust of how cheap and shallow it all can be. So well conveyed in so few words.

[CD Campbell]

Sounds like the dance scene sure enough. You make it seem romantic in a vampiric kind of way. I must say in my younger days I could relate to this on both sides of the fence. I love the form you worked with. If you look at the two stanzas, they appear tight. CD

[writing mojo]

that works..dancing butterflies indeed, but all came from cocoons once as worms with the right amount of timing..good piece

[Gerald Parker]

I liked the ones with lustful lips. The ones that took the initiative with us bashful boys.
Nice one.
Gerald