Three empty cans

Sometimes, emptiness is harder to bear than loneliness.

There might have been lager in them. 

But I can't see the labels, 

the name on the tin,

because they're tumbled and twisted

and tossed in the bin.

Perhaps they were a kind of energy drink?

Full of sweet promise 

for keeping you slim,

but now they're tumbled and twisted

and tossed in the bin.

There's nothing much left 

for a can after that, 

as empty of life and pathetically thin,

it stays tumbled and twisted

and tossed in the bin. 

Reviews

[CD Campbell]

No one likes to be thrown away. I can think of times that I felt totally empty, but was never able to make the comparison as you have done so wonderfully here. Putting the emotion aside; I really like the way this was written. The ending line in the three stanzas and how it appears to the eye keeps you reading. I enjoyed it even if the subject matter was a tad sad. CD

[Woody]

yesss a wonderful one Beccy!!
is it irrevocable, though? perhaps a new kind of life awaits the can. but going back to the original state is out of the question.
perhaps making the best of a bad situation. adapting? loved the metaphore.

[Michael G.]

Simplistic in its nature. An openness and honesty of style. The repeating lines echo endings in a quiet, yet solid way. That's the nuts and bolts of it, I think. Each used quite well and in frugal, well measured amounts.
The story it tells is so much more. It rings hollow, like the tumbled and twisted cans cast away to the bin. But the hollow felt is from the fullness that once was held. This speaks volumes with metaphors abounding.
Yet I can still feel the silence and the matter-of-exactness of this very sad, yet lovingly voiced poem.

[Terpsichore]

'Sometimes emptiness is harder to bear than loneliness.' Deeper than the ocean.

Oh, and the poem is quite wonderful. T

[Beccy]

Thank you Jacob. Yes, I suppose they do become something else; as we sometimes do, but the original content is of course gone forever.

Beccy

[jacob erin-cilberto]

but then there is recycling...and is that reincarnation for the cans?

i am enjoying this poem very much, your metaphors work well...thirst quenching.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Nice analogy of life to cans... As empty life seems like a twisted can...
Great lines. :)

[Beccy]

Thank you all for your kind comments, (and lovely poetical replies,) you are so much appreciated.

Beccy.

[W.k.kortas]

As Ed and I live in cold lands
The lager cans freeze to our hands
So when we take that final sip
We can't dispense with easy flip
The cans to bin or underbrush
As to this poem? Why, it makes me gush.