Commuting

Mostly, it was men in dark business suits

reading the Times just for show.

So she read Fifty Shades of Grey,
legs crossed, skirt slightly hitched,
amused by the flicker-frame of
clandestine appraisal,

the subliminal invitations.

Occasionally, a fellow traveller would

offer a hesitant smile, to which her 

response would be a slower turning 

of the page, a shift in position from 

temptress to ingenue, though her 

choice of reading material might 

have rather given the game away.

But in truth, it was only a way

to pass the fifty or so minutes

from station to station;

the measured pace of exit stage left, 

book tucked safely away so as 

not to distract from purposeful 

endeavour; a game she was 

temporarily playing but which 

she had no particular desire 

to pursue ad infinitum.

Reviews

[Eilis]

This is interesting in light of the Me Too movement. Just thinking about the ways some women exert a kind of power, but ultimately don't wish to see anything come of it. It's a light-hearted poem, but, in my mind, there are some darker undertones because the story could be turned on its head if one of those onlookers decided he ought to have what was on offer.

Not to be the bee in the bonnet, but I couldn't help to see it in that light. I think it can be hard for some men to interpret women's cues and hard for some others to stop themselves from pursuing something they have no business pursuing.

The scene you have painted is excellent because you've created a real character here, and you've also created a bit of ambiguity in terms of what you want your reader to think of her. Is she cute and mischievous (harmless) or is there something a bit troubling about the game. It can be read either way in my opinion. Excellent work, Beccy.

[Beccy]

Both sides play the game; have done since time immemorial. She is of course both harmless and troubling, though mostly harmless in her mind. But we all know that often there is a thin line between a glance across a crowded room and the taking of what is perceived to be on offer.

Thank you for reading; 'tis much appreciated.

Beccy.

[Jill Reidy]

I like this a lot - my kind of writing. I love the description of her disingenuous flirting, excellent :-) Jill

[SpeedyHobbit Armstrong]

This is definitely a good poem about a plane ride! It is interesting to contemplate fellow passengers, wondering why they are going to the same place as you

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. How did I miss this??? You capture your readers in a wonderful way...:)..............

[Beccy]

Thanks all for your very kind reviews.

Beccy.

[Chris]

I'm appreciating the realities of the other side of the aisle. So unsubtle clues - yet sometimes it really isn't a game anymore when the breath catches and ...well, some dreams ARE longer than others - aren't they?

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This captures such moments in a descriptive and smooth verse.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

It is nice to get lost in a fantasy from the written word but the reality of human connections can never be replaced.

[Tree]

In my neck of the woods people love their cars so much, privacy really, that they would rather spend an extra 2 hours commuting, than to sit amongst strangers. But many times there is no choice either, California is a land and culture of highways and personalized vehicles. That infrastructure is not altogether in place yet... I for one do enjoy giving other means of transportation a go. At the very least, it is a fascinating way to come home with a poem, build a new insight. Have a new experience.

introspective, and revealing piece
Beccy. Well done.

[Lydia Shutter]

Such a seduction scene you describe...the legs crossing and uncrossing and perhaps a bit of lace showing under the hem of a skirt. They may be reading the Times, but they are noticing....and it is a bit of a dangerous game, but makes for a wonderfully enticing write. Lydi**

[NoelHC]

I like where you went with this one, it was tantalizing in a delicate way, and in the end, she walks away, leaving a trail of men in her wake.
Well done Beccy.