A Fool's Realization

I am beginning to see,

No one is like me.

I used to think others had the same heart,

but I was so wrong, tears me apart.

Expectation slips in,

Undetected past the skin,

To the arteries in jest,

Which thread within my chest.

My energy is stripped,

I give too muchaway: I am ripped,

Selfless acts are selfish,

No matter what we always relish.

Greed and corruption,

a horrendous production.

When you love someone,

it is the universe's pun,

crushing and sadistic

it is torture and masochistic,

when it is unrequited.

Reviews

[Dave]

It is a shame that love so often hurts us. Unafraid we give our hearts away to find the recipient could care less.
Is it not true though that because we experience the pain, when we find that true love the joy of it far exceeds all the anguish we have ever felt.
So we relish the pain in the hope that the love, true love will erase all the remembered pain.

[emipoemi]

Of all the splendidness represented in the vivid imagery, and superb musicality that defines this poem, if I may, I have just two notes on minor matters before, in my opinion, this becomes a genuine poetic gem: "I give too much of myself....." is tad too wordy for the musicality to flow through as smoothly as it does everywhere else, and "of myself" is implicitly included when you simply say " I give too much away", for amidst everything else, the readers if they read carefully enough would understand what you mean without you having to say "of myself". The musicality needs to hit "ripped" sooner on that line. Similarly, for sound and musicality purposes (and dare I say it, grammatical), a "the" should be inserted in the line "it is [] universe's pun". Other than that - Well done!! (That straggler at the end really is a nice touch and packs a good punch).

[Rebecca Leigh]

Thank you for your eloquent feedback, i used your suggestions and made the corrections... thank you for your kind honesty :)

[emipoemi]

with pleasure

[D]

Well then it is... But you're still the good guy/girl...Because you love that person even though it's not mutual.

I would personally just take a dip in that feeling for them, and enjoy...Don't know why...always did that...then here and there I hoped maybe they like me too. of course not.. and knowing it hurts...but that is sweet pain. and reminds me..I'm alive.but one can dream again...great piece.

[Rebecca Leigh]

Thank you for reading:)

[D]

My pleasure.

[Ruth]

Ah, yes, indeed...it is a most painful realisation and to walk through the pain is to grow in some ways...not everyone is like the self...quite a journey to accept :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

needs apostrophes in last stanza for the "it's"

but wow, yes even the selfless acts can be selfish...for want of being noticed for what we do...
to just love unconditionally and accept others...we might do that, and then expect that from others...but do we get it? often not.

j.