Drain Me
Author’s Note:
Happy All Hollow’s Eve Darlinggs! Well, I’m making it a tradition that every Halloween while I’m obsessed with My Chemical Romance I am going to type up a different Halloween story with a different Theme. I’m grinning which is crazy cause it’s 2 am on a Tuesday-no now it’s Wednesday & I’m about to kill off a few of my favorite people. haha. For some reason towards the end of this story I started typing it in an English accent. Don’t ask! Um…well uh… Happy Halloween & enjoy!
“You’re My GUITAR HERO! X marks the box in the hole in your head that you dug for yourself!”
Love ya! XOXO
Becca!
I sat on the floor of the bus with my legs up to my chest, on them sat my sketchbook; I drew on the tear-stained paper humming a soft hopeless tune.
“Come on Gee, you’ve been like this for weeks, there is nothing we can do about him.” I lifted my teary eyes up so I could look at Ray, until 14 days ago he was like this too, depressed & mopey. Now that I think about it so was everyone. They haven’t found who killed him, who drained him of every single ounce of his blood, like a vampire. I keep waiting for someone to jump out and go
“Surprise silly, Frankie’s right here!” & to see Frank standing there with his cocky grin on his face, but no one has yet, & they probably never will. If they did I would be the happiest I could ever be. They say You Never know what you’ve got till it’s gone, & I now see the realness in that saying.
“Ray…please…tell me it was all a bad dream…tell me he’s alive….please…” I exclaimed hopeless, after about a minute with out an answer I muttered the word again “Please….”
I lifted my eyes to Ray’s level again, he had a blank expression of pity and sorrow, I could see him racking his brain for something to say. It’s right today was Halloween, not only was it Frank’s favorite Holiday it was also the day we celebrate the dead, the day we celebrated the very thing Frank had become on the very day he was born. Ray finally thought of something to say:
“Gerard, you know I can’t do that. Just look at it this way…He’s not in pain, he’s happy, & he’s looking down on us all & protecting us.” How can he be so sure? How does he know? He’s never been dead before! He’s never seen to the other side. How does anyone really know when someone dies they’re not in pain anymore? What if he’s miserable? What if he’s all alone?! I began to feel myself Begging, Pleading, to cry from the inside out, from my heart again, & I gave in. I began to sob miserably. I don’t understand why I didn’t go with him that night when he went over town to get a drink. I think it was because I was mad at him, for some stupid reason. I think it was he hurt my elbow really bad that night on stage.
My last words to him were “Go by your f*****g self.” If I would have known that was the last thing I would have ever said to him I wouldn’t have ever said it. I would have told him how much I need him, how much I loved him, how much I would have missed him. I would have apologized for every wrong thing I ever did to him. I would have apologized for ever doubting him, for ever yelling at him & for ever being mad at him. I would have told him he was the only reason I was alive. The only reason I sang, the only reason I followed my dreams, the only reason I got out of bed each morning. He was the reason for my existence. But I never got to. Instead, I yelled at him about tackling me and pretty much threw him outa my life for the last two hours he was going to be alive. I was such an a*****e. A mother f*****g a*****e.
“Gerard, come on calm down…please….Take deep breaths, breathe please….Come on.” Ray was panicking; I had been erupting into terrible cries like this for the past 4 weeks. I heard hurried footsteps of someone going away from me, & then heard them of someone or more then one someone coming towards me. Suddenly an arm was put around my shoulder, & a warm body was next to mine.
“Gerard, try to calm down, you’re going to seriously hurt yourself. Just try to calm down, please, take real deep breaths, Frank wouldn’t want you hurting yourself over him. Please breathe.” I tried to listen to my brother. There was nothing I could do to stop but to let myself continue to sob. Mikey was the only one that ever knew about Frank & I being well, more than just friends. We didn’t tell him of course, he kind of walked in on us fooling around. I don’t think it surprised him much though. Frank always had his arm around me or visa-versa, but maybe that made him think we were really close. Which we were, we would tell each other everything.
I hadn’t realized I stopped crying. I sighed suddenly angry at myself. If I had gone with Frank that night none of this would have happened. I pushed Mikey off me and walked out the door to the tour bus .We hadn’t left up-state New York in the four weeks since Frank died. Mikey had cancelled all our tour dates. I walked out into the cool crisp fall air, and took a minute to let my eyes adjust to the dark parking lot, I walked up the parking lot to a road, and started down that.
I wasn’t sure where I was going, I was just walking. I glanced down to my watch it was six thirty. In an hour & a half it would be the exact time Frank died, I pulled up the hood on my sweater & headed down to the spot where Frank had died. It was about a mile from where the bus was; he was that close to being safe, that close to me, that close. I began to cry again. I know I did, because suddenly my neck was becoming wet. I noticed a Drug store across the street from where I was walking. I checked to make sure no cars were coming and crossed to the store. I walked in, there was a Halloween display with candy, lots of candy. I grabbed a bag of Skittles, Frank’s favorite & headed toward the back. I walked over to the corner where they had some fresh cut flowers. I grabbed some roses. That’s when the thought came upon me.
What life was worth living if it was without Frank? The thought went against everything I had ever fought for, but it didn’t matter anymore. Nothing did. I walked a few feet to the refrigerated section; I grabbed a 6 pack of beer, & walked into the medicine aisle. I grabbed two packs of Zanax. I hadn’t bought this stuff since I had my addiction & I didn’t care my brain was screaming for me to put it back. I checked my back pocket for cigarettes, I had none. One more thing I had to buy. I walked over to the art supply section & grabbed a pack of razors, if the drugs combined with the booze didn’t do the job the razors sure as f**k would. I thought about things & realized this probably would look a little suspicious, so I grabbed a pack of markers and a new sketchbook. Then I grabbed a bottle of soda on my way to the front. I grabbed a pack of cigarettes & put my stuff on the counter. The guy rang me up & I paid, walking out the door.
I continued down the street to where Frank had died. I remember when Frank first told me he liked me, he was just sitting next to me telling me he had this crush on someone that he thought wouldn’t feel the same way about him, & that he didn’t know what to do. I told him that someone would be crazy if they didn’t like him, & he was crazy to be afraid. Then out of no where he said it. “Gerard. I love you.” I knew at once I was the person he was talking about, and it didn’t bother me in the slightest, because I felt the same way about him.
I got to a little place in a dark alley, where a bunch of candles, flowers & notes were, probably placed there by local fans. I walked over to the little shrine. I opened up my plastic bag of goodies, & placed the flowers on the floor by the wall, I imagined Frank falling down upon it. Dead. The image made me cry again. I poured the bag of fun-sized skittles out all around the shrine. Then I grabbed the markers and the sketch book. I sat down against the wall & drew a small heart with a candle sitting around it. On the bottom I wrote,
Frankie,
You are the reason I was alive, I’ll be with you soon.
I love you.
Gerard.
I folded up the paper and left it by the flowers. I popped open a beer & drank the entire can in one long swig. Sighing I opened up a package of Zanax. I was about to swallow four when I heard something.
“If you do that, I am going to be the one to kill you.” I dropped the pills in a mixture of horror and awe. I knew that voice, I knew that voice like I knew no one else’s. Out of the shadows walked Frank. I stared at him, he was paler than I remember, but he was also deader than I last saw him too. He walked over to me & bent down & snatched the bag from next to me. He began pulling the items out & tossing them down the alley.
“Beer. Razors. Cigarettes. Zanax. What No Rope? No mother f*****g arsenic. WHAT THE F**K WERE YOU THINKING? WHAT THE F**K WERE YOU GOING TO DO?! GERARD ANSWER ME D****T! WHAT IF I HADN’T BEEN HERE? HOW COULD YOU EVEN LET THIS THOUGHT CROSS YOUR GOD DAMN MIND?! THE WORST IS YOU WERE F*****G SERIOUS! I CAUGHT YOU IN THE GOD DAMNED ACT. HOW COULD YOU THINK OF DOING SUCH A THING? HUH? IT GOES AGAINST EVERYTHING YOU EVER BUILT UP OR SAID, ALL YOUR BELIEFS. EVERYTHING. GERARD TELL ME WHY GOD DAMN IT!” I stared at Frank, not believing he was there. I reached out and touched his leg, it was solid. I felt him looking down at me, probably wondering what the f**k I was doing. This can’t be real…can it? 10 minutes ago he was dead & now he is screaming at me. What was going on here? What in the name of god was happening? “Well?”
I opened my mouth. No words would come out I was still in shock, I realized I was crying again. I got up and went over & embraced him.
“Thank god.” I muttered finally finding my words. I was sobbing really hard, only this time it was happiness fueling it, not misery. His arms crept around me. “You’re here. You’re alive. You’re here. You’re not dead. Oh my god.”
I felt Frank stiffen.
“You…were going to kill yourself…because of me?” He said this in awe, like he was surprised. “Gerard-I’m….please….let go.”
The pain in his voice scared me. I let go & backed away. He was scaring me. This whole ordeal scared me.
“You’re supposed to be dead…” I stated the obvious I know. My voice must have been terrified because Frank looked at me concerned.
“Am I not?” He asked looking down at himself. I took the time to look at him closer; he had on a black t-shirt, and a pair of tight jeans. Red stained his shirt, I could barely see it, but it was what I could only assume to be blood. I felt him shift his gaze to me, his eyes probably searching over my entire body wondering what the f**k I had done to myself, sure enough he said:
“God you look like hell…”
“What are you talking about? Of course I look like Hell! You have been dead for weeks. Frankie. That really, really fucked me up. I have been crying for the past 4 weeks…” Frank decided to cut me off.
“Uh, you still are actually…” he grinned at me, dear god I missed his grin.
“YOU WERE DEAD.” I said to him pissed that he didn’t come to tell me he was still alive.
“Actually I still am…Uh you see…I’m..well…You see….” He couldn’t think of the words.
“You’re what?” I asked, my happiness was beginning to transform into anger.
“I’m Un dead.” He said dull.
“Come again?” I asked not believing what I had just heard.
“Gerard….I’m a vampire.”
“What?! How? What happened?...”
“I was on my way home from the bar down the street, when I heard what sounded like a girl crying in the alley, so I wandered into the alley to investigate, I figured it might have been some little lost girl, ya know looking for her kitty or something. So I walked into the alley & there was this really pretty girl with yellow-blonde, hair all teased out, dressed in pink with a tutu, almost like a Ballerina.
‘Are you okay?’ I asked her, bending down over her, that’s when I saw her face. Her eyes were glowing bright red & there was red around her mouth. I remember I tried to scream, but she pounced on me. Her name was Viola, she was just a blood w***e that needed her fix.” He grinned motioning to his neck.
“Is that why you?...You told me to let you go? Because you were afraid you would hurt me?” I asked him.
“Yes.” He said low, almost inaudible. I laughed; he looked at me like I was crazy. I walked over to him, & kissed him, I kissed him for a long time, I wrapped my arms around him and just kissed him with all my emotion. He was shocked at first, but then he got into it and was kissing me back. I pulled away.
“Don’t be baby. Drain me.” I exposed the side of my neck. He stiffened.
“Gerard-I can’t. No.” He said stubbornly.
“Think of it as my birthday present to you.” I smiled to him. “The gift of fresh warm thick juicy blood & the gift of an eternity together.”
I saw Frank trying to fight his instincts, I knew describing the blood in such a way would make him start to loose control. I grabbed his hand & placed it on my neck. I looked into his eyes, they were flashing from his normal eye shade to red, as he tried to fight his instincts.
“Do it Frank.” I muttered moving closer to him. “Drain me.”
“Arrr-Are You-you sure? Are you sure?” He asked through gritted teeth.
“Sure as I am that I love you.” I muttered wrapping my arms around him. “Do it.”
That’s all he needed to hear, his fangs were ripping into the flesh of my neck,& the pleasure of him sucking the blood out of me began, I felt the pleasure begin to die, as I died. Frank stopped draining my blood & he set me on the ground, next came the pain. Such a pain that was insane. It hurt like nothing else in the world. Like a thousands small knives were cutting away every vein artery & capillary in my entire body. I wanted nothing more than to be killed; dying couldn’t be as painful as this. I began to beg subconsciously for death. It never came. I withered in pain and agony, screaming, thrashing & wishing I was dead. I think I begged Frank to finish off the job & kill me, but he didn’t. He had more self control than that. The pain began to fade, I thought I was dying, but I wasn’t, I was beginning to live again. When the pain finally finished I opened my eyes. It was still dark out. Frankie was sitting against the wall tears streaming down his face, I walked over to him & put my arm around him like Mikey had done just a while before to me.
“Frank…” He looked up at me, he stared at me.
“You…gave me you for my birthday-I’m going to give you me for Halloween…” Before I could stop him he had sliced his wrist open with one of the razors I had bought before, he didn’t look like he felt any pain.
“Drink Gerard.” He said his tone serious. He lifted his wrist up to my mouth, I couldn’t help my self I grabbed it and dug my teeth into it. I drank a good share of his blood, till he pushed me away. He sighed happily, & I placed my head back against the wall. We were bonded forever, & thank god for that.
“Happy Birthday Frankie.” I muttered happily. Everything had turned out alright, as I knew it would.
“Happy Halloween Gerard.” Frank said running a hand down my cheek.
=] =] =]
Happy Halloween Everyone!
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