taking Death's side

this came out of no where

A maze i'm trapped inside
my soul does thrive
a way out to find
away, from the hidden tears,
away, from the hidden cries.

"Sleep'' a whisper is heard
through out the blowing wind
i'm layed on the thorn like stones

''Sleep my child''
is repeated a million times
''all is gone now, no where left to hide,
for ever sleep, forever die''

Amidst the flames i lie
surrounded with stormy fire
between the red raging waves
consumed with anger of desire,
summoned by the darkest worlds,
to the battle feild of dreams,
 to fight for death over life.

Author's Note

i don't know what this is, just call it a crazy thought, correcti0ons are welcomed, and yes i did type the ''i''s small on purpes.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Life and death are pardners. We will meet both. What you do in the middle is important. I like the struggle in the words. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Salar Majak]

thank you for reading,i'm glad you like it

[Richard Man]

I hope you didn't type "i" on purpose because you are feeling small at the moment or because you want to blend in among other letters. The Capital "I" for you gives you your voice .... and not just ice-cream!

[Salar Majak]

bur ice cream is good ;), i typed the 'i' small because i don't know who 'i' am any more, and i find it scary to figure it out, or maybe i did that because i feel small and insignifigant to the big world, am i making any sence?

[Richard Man]

Yes, you always make sense. You are allowed to question and say "Who am I?" The future is wet clay... this is yours: A pot ...make it, bake it, take it but don't break it!

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

all your poems seem to have a phrase which i am associated with....its like synchronicity....
sleep my child you said....i said it too...once not so long ago...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiiGAnvq7F0&list=UUzvYJ9Afauw-gKSRZWjCU6A&index=101

[Salar Majak]

nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ilove this

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

thats for u if u have trouble sleeping....:)

[Salar Majak]

thanks it's beautiful!

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

:)

[AYVID N]

Aurora...how would raging / blazing fires and stormy waves sound? Just a suggestion...otherwise very well expressed. My compliments.

[Salar Majak]

what i meant was "stormy waves of fire'' the fire flames rise like huge burning waves ready to swallow me whole. that is what i meant :D thanks for the read!

[AYVID N]

Oh you are so welcome Aurora! It is such a lovely thought.

[Salar Majak]

thanks :P

[Cara]

well this crazy thought looks good to me
great write

[Salar Majak]

thanks sis!

[amarlaksh]

Excellent write dunno why reminded me of Emily Dickinson :) and oh i agree with quin

[Salar Majak]

thanks :) Emily Dickinson!!!!!!! that is an honor!!!

[Night]

...such a sad write, feeling like all hope is gone...:( My favorite part: "''Sleep my child''
is repeated a million times
''all is gone now, no where left to hide,
for ever sleep, forever die''...good work my friend...be well.:)

[Salar Majak]

thank you so very much

[Night]

you are very welcome.:)

[Lozzie]

THIS IS GOOD!!!!!! Like really good :) WELL DONE!

[Salar Majak]

thank you i'm really glad you like it

[Dr. Wood ?]

great last two lines..to a very good poem..I wonder if Thrives should not be singular on the second line

[Salar Majak]

yup yup i was wrongon that one, fixed it though :Dthanks for the remark and the read!

[quinfinn]

i always type small i.......zzz. this is wonderfully thought out and so cleverly worded...second line, last word....plurality doesn't work unless you remove "does" from the equation. other than this very minor hiccup, this is an excellent piece of verse .....

[Salar Majak]

thank you :) i'll work on that