A-train

A downfall from hell is what became of my summer.

I almost lost my mind.

There is no more father for me to support.

He got his dumb self locked up.

He is the reason my summer took a hard right.

I started to hang with the wrong crowd.

Started to steal from everyone and everything.

Got hooked to pills and alcohol.

They were the only things that kept me from going nuts.

I liked to get high, liked to drag people down with me.

Always made people feel like s**t,

Just so they knew how I felt.

I was going down hill fast.

No one tried to stop me.

Except him.

I never meant to hurt my beloved.

My lies and addiction hurt the only one I cared about.

I met him one night, before the father fiasco.

He was the only one there for me,

Until I got hooked.

At first he supplied them to me,

Then my greed took over.

He stood at my side,

Even when I got abusive.

It was true love,

But for who?

I don't remember ever feeling like I loved him.

Always just felt the need and greed for him.

Summer was flying past,

And so was I.

High on the A-train and leaving all behind.

I knew he loved me,

And I still used him.

Maybe that's why I let him go.

To get away from me.

If only to protect him from my wrath.

Not too long after I told him to go,

Did I feel like I lost the greatest thing in my world.

True love or my lust to feel needed?

Only God knows now.

I'm still on my A-train,

Flying high and stooping low.