The Day I Met Phil, the Purple People Eating Monster

The black cat started to crouch and hiss when I was waiting for a package, when suddenly, a big one eyed purple people eating monster walked by. It stopped and looked at me, then the cat. It started to talk in an alien language. I'm not talking about French, Spanish, or Italian. I'm talking about out of this world, never before heard language.

"Bee boo dee doo daa," said the purple people eating monster.

I looked at him puzzled, then said, "I'm sorry, what? I speak English not alien!"

The black cat was still hissing when the monster said, "Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot I was in America. Can you do something about that angry black cat?"

"Umm, I don't know if I can, but I'll try," I replied crouching next to the cat. It immediately came to me as calm as can be. I picked up the cat, brought it across the street, and dropped it in a bush. When I turned around there he was, the one eyed purple people eating monster, right behind me.

"My name is Phil. I came from the Purple Monster Planet. I'm on vacation and I heard that everyone was very nice. Can you help me find some dinner? I'm starving," he asked me with such eagerness that I was startled.

"Hi, my name is Claire. I've never heard of that planet but it's nice to meet you. If I knew what you ate I would help but..." I looked him up and down, then said, "You remind me of a song called One Eyed, One Horned, Flying Purple People Eater. You don't happen to eat purple people by any chance, do you?"

Phil looked at me surprised, then nodded with an assurance of understanding. "That song makes fun of my kind. We do not have just one horn, we have three." He pointed to the tiny horns on his head, then added, "We also do not fly. Although, some things are true about that song you humans sing. We are purple and have one eye, which that is true. We also eat purple people. I believe I'm the only monster that doesn't eat purple people due to the fact of high cholesterol and high fat contents. I eat everything else that is purple though."

I nodded as this information sank in. After a few seconds I started o walk towards the nearest clothing store. "Follow me Phil," I said motioning him to follow.

At the store, we found tons of purple clothes that would satisfy his stomach. Phi purchased his purple clothes and said he was on his way to California. As I waved goodbye, the mailman passed by handing me the package I have been waiting for.

"Meow," the black cat from earlier sauntered up to me and rubbed against my legs in a friendly hello.

"Hello little kitty," I said as I sat down next to the cat with my package. As I opened the rectangular box, I saw the Chinese dragon-fly lamp I ordered. This was such an odd day, I made two friends: Phil, who happens to be a purple monster, and an adorable black little cat. I thought of how my day went and laughed to myself. Today was truly a peculiar day.

I sat on the ground for a few more minutes petting the black cat and inspecting my new lamp. Out of nowhere, a purple sleeve from one of Phil's shirts landed onto my head. I looked up and searched the sky, but there was no sight of Phil anywhere. The cat looked at me quizzically and meowed.

I went home with the cat hot on my feet. Once safe in my home with no one around, I set the lamp on my table and plummeted into my bed. What a day it has been! As I lay in bed I replay today's event over and over again in my head until I passed out. I wonder if Phil never came along, how my day would have gone. Until next time i meet Phil again, my life will be dull.