Not This Time

I am not our savior

I can't keep saving you.

Not from yourself.

Because you are breaking me in the process.

I love you. 

But if you have to force yourself,

To love me,

Out of guilt for hurting me,

You need to let me go.

I can't keep saving you.

I can't even save myself.

Love shouldn't be forces.

Love shouldn't be out of guilt.

Love should be strong and beautiful.

It should be everything you thought of,

Everything you never thought possible.

My love for you won't fade,

But maybe it's time we finally gave up.

Because the same thing keeps happening.

Over and over again.

I can't be the only one,

Putting in the effort to keep us.

If you can't prove it to yourself,

That our love is meant to be,

You shouldn't try to prove it to others.

Proving to yourself and I,

Should be the top priority.

Others should not matter.

Feelings, little weak crushes,

Should not take over your love for me.

Which is why,

I cannot keep saving you.

I am broken as it is.

Do not worry about me.

Only worry about yourself.

In the end, 

If we can't make it work,

Then all is lost for the time being.

But I will not go through,

All of this again,

Until you know for sure,

I am not just a life preserver for you.

I may forever love you,

And i may forever wait for you.

But it is not okay anymore.

It never was.

I forgive and I love.

But it is not happening again.