Numb

I wish to go numb.
To ease it all away.
To wish I wasn't so conflicted with how I felt.
If I could just make up my mind.
Figure out where everything stands.
Figure out what matters the most.
I just want it to stop.
The pain, the anger, the sadness, the emptiness.
The confusion, the weakness.
I want to be strong.
To be able to stand up to how I feel.
If I could just get everything to stop coming all at once.
That's my problem.
I lose site of everything,
Because I let the feelings take control.
I let them bombard my life,
Every single day.
I'm okay, for all that it matters to you.
For those that care, just know I'm okay.
Though, those who know better,
Know it's just a front.
But I'm choosing to be okay.
Because if I don't, people will worry.
And that's not okay.