My True Feelings...

Literary, how I feel about my life. About life and death. What other's think about me. I'm not as strong as every thinks I am. I think, I have reached my breaking point.

I think too much.

About everything.

Things were going great.

I don't know what happened.

Thinking about it won't help.

Yet I still do.

It hurts to not know if I did something wrong.

Or is it just a mood everyone is in?

The waters work,

When I don't want them to come.

My heart aches,

When it shouldn't.

Life feels like a waste of time.

I feel like a waste of space.

Love, life, friends, family, death.

Why do I have to think about them,

All at once?

Why does it hit me,

All at once?

Can I ever just be happy with what I have now?

True friends, true love, true family.

Why does death have to always creep up on me?

Will I ever be able to stop wanting it?

Is there a point in my life,

Where I won't feel like I'm a waste of air, of space?

The tears keep streaming as I write this.

All the songs I don't want to hear,

Just keep on playing.

Making it hurt all at once.

Death or life?

I can't tell which one is calling me more.

I'm cold. I'm hot. I just wanna puke.

Just want to curl up in a ball,

Rock back and forth,

Listen to all the songs I don't want to hear,

And cry myself to sleep.

I know I'm loved by few.

Hated by many.

Shouldn't those that love me, 

Be more important than everyone else?

Why do I think about what I did wrong,

To make other's hate me?

Instead of thinking about what I did right,

To make those few love me?

I wish to shake these feelings.

Wish writing this, does more than it normally would.

Can things ever go back to the safe place?

Where I was happy spending time with loved ones?

If only it would sooner......