Gabriel- Chapter Five- Break

Follow Gabriel as he reminisces about is disturbing past, his mentor, and what he's up to now.

     Hanging up the phone I drop it in my pocket. I’m on my way to see Caden. He’s the boy

that I’m mentoring. I’ve been a mentor ever since I was sixteen. Caden is the second child

I’ve had the privilege of helping, the first was Emily’s brother. That’s how I met her. It was

never my intention to date her, but the more I saw her brother, the more she grew on me. I

was friends with Emily before we started dating. Even though I’ve known her for so long

she still doesn’t know much about me. I don’t feel comfortable talking to her about it. Every

time she brings it up I skate around the subject, we’ve been more physical with each other

anyway. Emily is all the time dragging me to her favorite sex shop, Toxia and she always

has new things to try, and people to bring into her bedroom with us. I’m not complaining

though, she keeps it fun. I just wish she wouldn’t drink so much. She loves to go to parties,

and blacks out. It happens so much now, I’m beginning to worry about her and I’m

wondering if I should be with her anymore. I’ve tried to talk to her about it, but every time

she brushes me off and tells me it’s not a big deal. To me it is a big deal; I’m her babysitter

when we go out and if I wanted to babysit a drunken person I’d go home and watch my

father.

     My father, the fat balding slob that he is, has never been much of a dad. He’s spent

most of his time on the couch watching TV and drinking his life away. I remember my

house, but it doesn’t bring back the warm fuzzy memories that it should. I just remember a

dark dingy home, the walls yellowing from dad’s cigarette smoke, and the brown,

everywhere; Brown wood panel walls, and brown carpet, it never felt clean and it felt like no

matter how many lights you had on, you still couldn’t penetrate all the dark that seemed to

loom over the house. The house didn’t even look like a home from the street, rotting wood

with peeling paint encased the house, and the front step was broken, eaten by termites with

no one to fix it. My home was anything but a home, it was a shack, a shack that was filled

with gloom. When I was home my father would curse at me and tell me that I would never

be anyone or do anything. He would call me a f**k up and ask for a beer. He was the same

way with my mother, always calling her a b***h, and yelling at her. She was never good

enough, she took too long getting his food for him, she didn’t clean the house well enough,

and she didn’t make enough money. I remember her crying a lot then yelling at me and my

brother for being too loud or not picking up after ourselves. She looked so worn down, her

once shiny brown hair that was a hairdressers dream was fading and turning grey. Her

moth eaten faded clothes hung from her frame, her body frail from the poor diet from lack

of money. Her green eyes that used to smile so warmly now stare coldly at my thirteen year

old self as she ordered me outside. I feel bad for her; she’s stuck in the same trap I was

stuck in. She believes him and I believed him. I remember that day when I left the house, I

thought I would never be better than him or amount to anything that was the day Justin

came into my life. He made all the difference in me.

       Justin Watkins was my mentor and the father that I never had. He was my neighbor and

lived four houses down from me. I had picked up my bike and was riding it down the street

when I saw him standing over his car with the hood up. I was curious so I rode up to him to

see what he was doing. I was lonely I guess. I will never forget the way he looked, with his

hair balding, slight wrinkles around his smiling blue eyes, a cigarette dangled from his lips

and oil stains adorned his white undershirt. He wiped his hands on his torn stained jeans

and held out his hand as he introduced himself, “Justin.”

     I was taken aback, I expected him to yell at me and chase me away. I stared at his hand

trying to decide what to do.

     “Well? I promise I won’t bite.” He said looking me in the eyes and smiling.

     I finally decided he was okay and shook his hand, “Gabriel.”

     “Well Gabe,” He said gripping my hand and giving it a hearty shake, “How would you like

to learn how to change oil in a car?” He asked smiling brightly, his voice had a southern

drawl.

      I shrugged; “Sure,” it wasn’t like I had anything better to do. I dropped my bike on his

lawn and we set about changing the oil in his car. When we were done, I told him I had to

go, and he asked me to come back tomorrow and we would work on the brakes. I agreed

and ran home the sun was setting and I knew I had to go home before my dad started

yelling at my mother for letting me run away.

     Every day I went back to his house and he would have something new for me to do. He

taught me how to fix things and took me fishing, sky diving, and to the skate park. He

taught me how to Ollie a skate board and fly fish. My parents didn’t care as long as I was

home before dark they didn’t miss me during the day, my mother was busy working and my

dad was busy drinking. Justin got me started in BMX sports. I remember the rush I felt the

first time I pulled a trick in midair I felt alive and capable of doing anything. Justin showed

me how important it was to have a hobby and how to be productive. I learned so much

from him. It was just too bad that he was no longer around. A motorcycle wreck took him

out. I was one of the few people to attend his funeral; he left his car to me, a T-top Trans

Am. That car was his baby and I treat it the same way. Justin greatly impacted my life. If it

wasn’t for him I wouldn’t be here today, in college, helping other kids the same way he

helped me.

     I’m at Caden’s house, I knock on the door and wait for him to come out. I don’t have to

wait long and soon we’re off. Today I’m taking Caden to the skate park. I listen to Caden

talk to me about his day and his family. So much of his story reminds me of my own family.

I just wish I could help them the way I’m helping him.

     Once I left the house to go to college my dad told me that I would fail and to never come

back home. I was mostly okay with that apart from leaving my little brother at home. He

was fourteen and had no real outlet. I would try to get him out of the house with me, but he

had no desire to hang out with me. He was stuck just like my mother. Before I left he

accused me of leaving him behind. I made sure he had a number so he could contact me,

but I couldn’t stay behind because of him. I had to move on with my life. I had to prove my

father wrong, make Justin proud, and get my mother and brother out away from my dad.

I’ve been working on a plan; I just have to figure out how to talk some sense into my

mother. I already have something worked out for my brother; I just have to wait until he’s

eighteen. If only someone had been there for my sister.

      I was twelve when she ran away from home. She was sixteen. We never heard from her

again. I often wonder what happened to her. A missing person’s report was filed with the

police but they didn’t find anything. I plan on tracking her down once I’m done with school.

I want to know what happened to her and what caused her to leave like she did.

Caden smiles and waves at me as he zooms by on his skate board. It’s nice to see him

smile. He didn’t smile much when we first started hanging out together. He’s talking more

now, and he seems happier. I love the fact that I can help him and make his life better even

if it’s just for a few hours out of the week.

     As Caden tests the ramps at the park, I think about Crystal. I didn’t expect to see her

when I went to see Emily. I don’t think she was expecting me either. She seems nervous

around me, and she seems careful. I find her shyness refreshing, and attractive. It’s nice to

be around someone that isn’t trying to wave her b***s in my face. I’ve never told anyone

about my sister, apart from Justin and I’m surprised I talked to her about that. There’s

something about her. I feel comfortable around her. I barely know her, yet I feel like I can

trust her, like I can share anything with her. After I saw her that day I knew I wanted to see

her again, but I didn’t know her name. I just knew that she was touring. It was such an odd

coincidence to see her again, and today I just had to see her again. I knew Emily wouldn’t

be home, and I had a feeling that Crystal would be there; I just wasn’t expecting her to

without her bra. I really shouldn’t have said anything to her about it, but I couldn’t help it.

Her b***s were perky and her n*****s were hard. The words were out of my mouth before I

could stop myself. At least she wasn’t too upset about it.

      Crystal has been in my thoughts a lot ever since I first met her. I keep seeing her amber

eyes, her smile, and her face as she blushes. She’s beautiful, but I don’t think she realizes

just how pretty she is. I love the fact that she knows what she wants to do in life. I wish I

could be as decisive as her. I want to know more about her, and I want to kiss her. I’ve

wanted to kiss her the first day I saw her. And yes I want to have sex with her too. I want to

see her naked body laid out before me like a buffet and I want to kiss every part of her and

make her scream my name as I bring her pleasure.

      Caden screams as he falls off of his skate board, I jump up and run to him. Tears well

up in his eyes and he cries. I ask him what’s wrong and he holds up his left arm, it hangs at

an odd angle, obviously broken. I calm him down, take him to my car, and call his mother as

I take him to the emergency room.

      I feel terrible that he broke his arm. Once he got over the initial shock he was okay, his

mother was upset, as any mother would be, but she knew we were out at the skate park.

She was the one who signed him up for my program. She found me from my blog. I write a

blog in a spare time about extreme sports and kids I have quite the following and I even

make some money editing websites for people who have come across my page. It’s nice

being able to pay for my expenses and do something I like to do. I cheer Caden up by

showing him my scars from my falls where I’ve broken bones. He smiles as he asks the

doctor if he’ll have a scar. Before I leave, Caden’s mom promises to keep me up to date on

how he’s doing.

      I drive myself back to my dorm thinking about Crystal’s breasts and what they feel like.

I can’t wait to see her again. I fall asleep planning my next visit to see her, and avoid Emily.

I still haven’t decided what I’m going to do about her.

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Author's Note

This is a self published work so I've fixed the spelling and grammar errors to the best of my ability. I would love to know what you think of this chapter, good or bad.

Reviews

[iliOZ]

i, for one agree ... we all come from a broken home!
my stepfather (too) often told me what a worthless piece of thing i am or i will become
one of his favorite foretell used to be "you'll be so stupid that they will employ you as a stair sweeper only and you know what? you will be so stupid you will sweep the stairs backwards!!!!"

believe me ... i've had plenty of opportunities in my life to sweep stairs at my home and i always felt (somewhat devilish, satisfactory yet deeply sad way) sorrow for him.

he missed out on a lot and because of him, likely i missed out on a lot

becca? i truly am jealous of that T-top Trans Am

thanks for the read (and for the comments on Crystal’s breasts)

[francis]

nice .such a dad is a demon

[zainul]

I am impressed by the details.
It is crystal clear and transmits the direction the story would move around.
I like to ask a question.
The description of the home appears very real.
Did you base this on the state of a real home of your neighborhood?
This is just my curiosity.
You may ignore the question.
Thank you for sharing.

[BeccaLeeNyx]

I didn't base it off a home that I have seen in real life, it only exists in my imagination. When I write about a character and the past that character has had I try my best to really get inside their home life and see their world through their eyes. While I may not have had the experiences that Gabriel had, I do have an imagination and I can try to convey what he or someone in his situation would feel and see.

[zainul]

Becca,
I am very happy that you explained your position so nicely.
Your points are very convincing and I think they may be quite helpful for all writers who intend to write novels.
Some descriptions made me so impressed that I became speechless.I could mention lots of sentences but that would not be wise.Still,I feel very tempted to mention this part:
"The house didn’t even look like a home from the street, rotting wood
with peeling paint encased the house, and the front step was broken, eaten by termites with no one to fix it. My home was anything but a home, it was a shack, a shack that was filled with gloom."
Thanks for stopping by,talented writer.
Zainul

[BeccaLeeNyx]

I can't stop smiling from your compliment. Thank you. :-)

[zainul]

You are most welcome
I want a share of your smile,lovely writer :)

[zainul]

You are most welcome
I want a share of your smile,lovely writer :)

[The Nude Writer]

This is wonderful and fantastic :) You really pulled me in and made me feel the characters. Love it! :)

[BeccaLeeNyx]

Thank you! I was really trying for that and I'm glad you felt it.

[The Rhino]

First off, congratulations pulling off a story with some length to it. I do not see much of that on here. With that said I think you need to add some detail in places and clean it up in others. I felt like I needed more information on the mentor and how he died and the impact it had. Also, by the end of it I did not have a sense of what direction the story was going in. What is the over arching theme that will keep someone reading. Remember, this is just my opinion but do feel you are on the right track.

[BeccaLeeNyx]

Thank you! It's hard to convey everything I want to in a single chapter, you've given me a lot to consider and I appreciate that.

[The Rhino]

Just make sure you take what I suggest with a grain of salt. I am still figuring this out myself. :)