The Emperor's New Clothes

A different view on a classic tale

As I struggle to look through the sliver of sight allowed by the blindfold, I have time, though I am not sure how much, to really think about what had happened.  Not really sure why I am so different from everyone else in the town of Caecus.  I have heard the same stories, the same lessons and the same indoctrinating games as every other child and classmate.  On the fingers attached to my hands bound behind me I count how many different titles for the great Emperor I have been forced to recite each morning since I first mumbled out my virgin words as a child.

“The Distinguished, Renowned, Noble, Famed, Superior, Commander, Chieftain, Eminence, Ruler, Emperor Bardus!”

It felt like acid every time I scraped His official title off my tongue.  It wasn’t as though he had done anything specifically wrong to me, I had no personal vendetta...well, until now...I just never understood why some warlord-emperor who massacred and killed his way to prominence deserved my respect.  I had never even seen him until two days ago. And then I saw too much of him...everyone did.

I have been standing for a day and a half in whatever sludge had grown or was dropped on the stone floor.  Chains clatter each time I move and the putrid-smelling guard is always there to remind me of how hopeless my situation is.  Oddly enough, I know my execution will be soon (any minute or any day) but all I can think about was how itchy the blindfold is.  I wonder how many other doomed heads it had been wrapped around.  How many other eyes had seen the prickly canvass as their last image?  I don’t know if the reality of my situation has really sunk in or if apathy has grown inside me like the slime on the floor; either way, I am stuck and the blindfold still itches. 

*****

It was only three weeks ago that the announcement was made.  It was everywhere. For the first time in his thirteen year reign, The Emperor was coming to visit our small village.  “What an honor!” (I am confident that I am the only soul who echoed that phrase sarcastically -- though it was heard countless times each day from a variety of mouths).  Celebration lights decked and wrapped every doorway and light-post. The streets, sidewalks and houses were scrubbed clean. Everyone even mowed their lawns in perfectly parallel lines.  The village council frantically scrambled to make food, decorate the community hall, and take care of any other preparation that they thought Emperor Bardus would appreciate. 

Pathetic.

The next big event was the arrival of the official banners announcing the arrival of our leader.  They were fifteen feet long, made in the official purple, black, and green colors of the empire. 

 

“The Distinguished, Renowned, Noble, Famed, Superior, Commander, Chieftain, Eminence, Ruler, Emperor Bardus will be arriving in Village of Caecus.  Be prepared to pay tribute both in action and finance to your ruler”

 

All of that was the normal nonsense that all the other citizens seemed to gush over caused me to retch.  The weirdest part of the banner, however, was in much smaller print on the bottom.

 

“The purpose for The Great Emperor’s visit is to parade his new garments which only the wise will have the power to see.”

 

...whatever that meant.

 

*****

         

Of course, now, tied up in some obscure prison with a fat guard jingling his keys behind me, I know exactly what it meant.  It meant that some paper-emperor could walk down the street stark naked with all of his pieces exposed to every eye and no one was allowed to say anything.

My eyes are still itching.  Did the guy who was executed before me have pink-eye or something?  Luckily I will be dead before whatever eyeball disease camping out on the abrasive blindfold roots in my own eyes.  I wish they would just get this over with. 

*****

          By the time the great day finally came around I was already sick of it.  Before the first bird chirped people were already up and unfolding discount chairs on the side of the street in preparation for the parade.  I slammed my pillow over my head to try and block out the noise powering its way through my bedroom window.  I knew that parade-attendance was mandatory to pay homage to the emperor and in a town this small people would surely notice my absence, but that didn’t mean I had to rush out there with the excitement of a child on Christmas morning to catch a glimpse at whatever wardrobe the warlord had thrown on.  Mere minutes before the announced time I threw on some pants and a wrinkled shirt, trotted outside and made sure to say hello to at least a couple of people so that my attendance was accounted for.

          First, the trumpets blasted out and cause a quiet rumble of excitement in the masses (and a quiet rumble of nausea in me).

Second, the announcement: “The Distinguished, Renowned, Noble, Famed, Superior, Commander, Chieftain, Eminence, Ruler, Emperor Bardus!”

An eruption exploded from the towns-folk and the parade was officially underway.

It seemed superfluous to me to have a parade in a town that only spanned a few miles of area, but I suppose the Emperor needed His glory.  After only a few moments and too much pomp, I saw the guards that I could only assume gathered around the emperor.  As He drew closer I could noticed an awkward silence rolling over the crowd...no one said anything, barely a breath was taken.  I figured it was just because of an overwhelming awe that had catatonized my fellow citizens...until I caught my first glimpse of the Supreme Ruler.

I tried.  I tried so hard, but I could not stifle the laugh that bubbled out of my lips.  I snorted out a chuckle and tried to disguise it with a cough but already people had turned their heads to throw daggers at me with their eyes.  I couldn’t hide it, so I just embraced it: “He’s naked. Is this not funny to anyone el...” Before I could natter out the end of my sentence, two armed guards had tackled me and were driving my face into the dirt.  My arms were cuffed behind me where they still stay and I was dragged away from the crown and the nude emperor to be blindfolded and held in this execution room. No trial, no questioning, no opportunity to redeem myself.  Just a quick exit and a few kicks to the gut for good measure. 

I have no idea how long I have been here.  I am tired, cold and becoming increasingly apathetic.  I find it odd though; the only thing I am not apathetic about is my apathy.  I can’t help but think that I should be tenser, like in moment of sitting on a roller coaster and waiting for it to burst out from the starting gate.  I guess the difference is that in a roller coaster the tension comes from not really knowing what is going to happen.  It could be a fun, smooth ride and odds are that it will be; however, in the back of your mind there is the excitement that comes from the “what if something happens?”  Standing here, limited movement, and the incessantly itchy blindfold granting me only a sliver of sight, there is no question of “what if something happens.”  I know that I will die here.  I have accepted it.  Just because some fool-emperor wanted to prance around in his birthday suit while imagining he was wearing real suit and I was the only one who thought it was stupid...oh…there it is...the sharp edge of a steel blade pressed against my throat just above my adam’s apple….finally….