Losing my passion to write

This feeling I have to fight frequently.

I didn't know where else to post this.

  I've had an absence from this website, not because I'm insanely busy, but because I'm losing my passion to create.  I'm having these negative thoughts that are provoking my potential. I keep thinking, "What's the point?" and "Why am I wasting my time?" These thoughts usually come and go. They're infamous. Only this time, It's taking a bit longer to drown them out. I haven't wrote anything even personal for weeks. 

   The love of writing began when I was in middle school. Back then, I struggled with a learning disorder, along with dyslexia that slowed me down. I was always put in "special classes" that were a level above the mentally handicap students. My grammar as a kid, let's just say I basically butchered the English language. Especially when I first began experimenting with creative writing. To this day, I continue to hesitate about the rules of grammar. It's my biggest flaw. My mind doesn't respond or register things correctly when it comes to speech, grammar, and information.  I know you may never hear me talk, which is great, because I have a speech impediment that lingers to this day. It's NOT as noticeable as it was when I was younger. I speak perfectly fine. The flaw is I can't pronounce certain letters or words occasionally. Especially when I'm flustered. 
    So yeah... usually words are an authors best friend. Words to me are like a war, and I've been dealing with it since I was born. It's ironic how I found happiness in what used to cause me pain.   Yet... this issue is the main reason I fight to keep my head raised high. I love writing. It's just... I have so many images in my head but I can never find the right words and it frustrates me to the point of giving up.  

  I'm looking for encouragement, or any advice on how to rid these negative thoughts. It's like a darker side of me is smacking my hand anytime I try to write, with a voice saying.                           "You can't write. You're wasting your time. Why are you even trying?"    

Does anybody have any personal experiences...? Anything you'd like to share?

Author's Note

This was personal for me to admit. If you're curious why I developed alot of these problems here's why:
I was born the wrong way at birth which caused me to lose oxygen. Luckily It wasn't enough to cause severe brain damage.
I'm insecure about it... but it needs to be revealed. I need help how to stop putting myself and my writings down.

Reviews

[Lavorther]

Although i don't have such deep problems, i often have the same thoughts. Why am i writing? Am i good enough? Why am i wasting my time on this?

I think everyone has these thoughts every now and then. I totally can relate to the problem of not finding the right words to write something. For me, the reason is English is not my native language. I think the most important thing to remind yourself off, is that it doesn't have to be perfect. Just write away, and don't worry if it seems like garbage to you at first. I know my writing does when i finish the first version... Then after a few hours or days, you can read it over and edit where needed. Usually you will find that your writing is actually not as bad as you initially thought. And if it really is bad, you can always scrap it or start over again. That is totally fine too. But that is what this site is for, right? To get feedback and let others help you to improve your writing.

I think it is important for you to remember why you started writing in the first place: to deal with your feelings and thoughts. Writing can be a struggle - i know all about that - but you need to weight the positive and negative sides. I think that being able to express yourself and deal with your personal problems should outweigh any negative side.

I could go on and on, but i think i have been rambling long enough... I just want to let you know that i never even noticed the problems you mentioned in the writings you posted. They are a lot better than some of the other writings i have seen on this site, and you really have a talent for writing. The stories captivate me and are some of the few that keep playing through my head, even though they were one of the first i have ever read on this site.

So, please don't stop writing. It would be a shame if you did, for yourself and the readers (like me) who love your stories and want to know how they continue. If you ever need anything (be it advice, feedback or just to talk about something like this), just drop me a message. I would love to help you get through this.