Not very good, but once again my emotions are taking over me. I can't tell which way I am going and honestly at this point I have stopped caring. I embrace my fate and pray I die but isn't it funny. It's all part of life.
My Review
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Interesting how you've conveyed the depth's of hopelessness as your poem relates to the title. The inner struggles of afflication have clearly come to the surface as you've written it here. Great job. Nice poetic handywork. :)
Good s**t, I like that. That was deep. You said it wasn't very good but I think it was some of the realest s**t I have read in a long time. If your emotions lead you to write stuff like you have then keep letting it flow out like a endless water spring.
007.
I think this is really good, especially considering you are portraying a feeling which is very abstract - ergo quite difficult to portray. And you managed it well :)
Just one thing, you forgot a g in "hanging" around the beginning.
Cheers!
actually thats it let your emotions take over its the only way to learn to control them and use them to get it out loved it beautiful love peace and harmony ......
Hard to know what place you need to be on. Playing Demon or Anger are the parts we must play to survive.
"Holding onto everything
I once held dear
Just like a monster
My subconscous is blank"
I like the thoughts and the use of language in this poem. A strong ending to a outstanding poem.
Coyote
Honestly, i find the writer to be their own worst critic. Leave it to your audience to judge, and even then, anything bled through your pen is worth the time and much more. I like this poem, it really shares the same atmosphere a lot of my depressed/insane poems have. The wording and tone is so... Detatched feeling and depressed. The demon inside is portrayed cruelly as it should be, and so that heightens the chance of understanding. This poem has that feeling of oppressive hoplessness and impending doom, and speaking of demons inside oneself i can relate really well. And so i feel this poem more than the average person would. Because nobody really can understand that borderline of sanity unless they are there themselves. Dont worry about your writing, it is just fine. Just keep writing and dont worry about if its good or not. I know you are a good writer, and so do your friends. Oh, and feel free to send me more RRs. I may be slow with reviews, but i do get to them eventually. lol.