Memory Defeat

Read authors note.

Happiness calling

Laughing in my head

Random delusions

Have left me for dead

Horrible nightmares

In my mind

Long to cease

Losing touch

To reality.

Haning by a thread

It's easy to tell

I want to give up

Like a turtle

On its shell

I kick and I scream

But they no longer sound alike

Some how I went

From longing

To fright.

Holding onto everything

I once held dear

Just like a monster

My subconscous is blank

Hearing your voice

Forgetting your name

Endless battles

I fight to stay sane

I lost you

But I am to blame.

With each growing second

My mind becomes weak

Longing to run

Hide in my sleep

No longer safe

My heart is torn

I'm left in a mess

Laying on the floor.

My tears are flooding

Like blood from my wrist it flows

This is who I am

Dispite all my foes.

I've become a demon

In this godless world

Forever alone

My thoughts in a whirl.

 

Author's Note

Not very good, but once again my emotions are taking over me. I can't tell which way I am going and honestly at this point I have stopped caring. I embrace my fate and pray I die but isn't it funny. It's all part of life.

Reviews

[B-poet]

Interesting how you've conveyed the depth's of hopelessness as your poem relates to the title. The inner struggles of afflication have clearly come to the surface as you've written it here. Great job. Nice poetic handywork. :)

[PrincessZeldaWannabe]

Love the flow to this! And it IS very good!

[Dez H.]

Good s**t, I like that. That was deep. You said it wasn't very good but I think it was some of the realest s**t I have read in a long time. If your emotions lead you to write stuff like you have then keep letting it flow out like a endless water spring.
007.

[Que]

I think this is really good, especially considering you are portraying a feeling which is very abstract - ergo quite difficult to portray. And you managed it well :)
Just one thing, you forgot a g in "hanging" around the beginning.
Cheers!

[Spookers]

"Haning by a thread" did you mean "Hanging" instead of "Haning"?

[Aristede Craig Jr]

actually thats it let your emotions take over its the only way to learn to control them and use them to get it out loved it beautiful love peace and harmony ......

[Coyote Poetry]

Hard to know what place you need to be on. Playing Demon or Anger are the parts we must play to survive.
"Holding onto everything
I once held dear
Just like a monster
My subconscous is blank"
I like the thoughts and the use of language in this poem. A strong ending to a outstanding poem.
Coyote

[RedInk524]

Honestly, i find the writer to be their own worst critic. Leave it to your audience to judge, and even then, anything bled through your pen is worth the time and much more. I like this poem, it really shares the same atmosphere a lot of my depressed/insane poems have. The wording and tone is so... Detatched feeling and depressed. The demon inside is portrayed cruelly as it should be, and so that heightens the chance of understanding. This poem has that feeling of oppressive hoplessness and impending doom, and speaking of demons inside oneself i can relate really well. And so i feel this poem more than the average person would. Because nobody really can understand that borderline of sanity unless they are there themselves. Dont worry about your writing, it is just fine. Just keep writing and dont worry about if its good or not. I know you are a good writer, and so do your friends. Oh, and feel free to send me more RRs. I may be slow with reviews, but i do get to them eventually. lol.

[joshua deathdealer]

I think this is really good. Well done.