Name Game

Read authors note

"Please, don't be quick to throw around hurtful names like Crazy or Psychopath because the person you are addressing could be just like me. Hi, I'm Alicia Gay and I am Bipolar 1 with Psychotic features." -Myself.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Poetic master
Age-lined face
Growing older
With every coming day
Anger ridden
It's written on my face
Who I am
And
Who I once was
Are fading away
With everyday
A new battle
I face
Little voices
In my head
Refuse to cease
If only you knew
How I long to be dead
A cry for help
It refuses to cease
Can this illness
Over come me?
Psychopath
A word I know well
Everyday branded
Stuck in this hell
Would you notice
If we met on the street
What is truly going on
Inside of me?
With all the names
And angry words alike
Would you know
That you've killed me inside?
I'm set in my ways
It's not hard to tell
But this illness has placed me
In my own living hell
Judge if you must
But keep your names to yourself
I'm fighting my battles
All by myself.

Author's Note

o be diagnosed with bipolar I disorder with psychotic features, individuals must have experienced one or more manic or mixed episodes during the course of their illness. A manic episode is a period of unusually elevated, excitable or irritable mood lasting for at least one week. Other symptoms include inflated self-esteem, more talkative or pressured speech and racing thoughts. A mixed episode is diagnosed when a person experiences both a manic episode and a major depressive episode, rapidly alternating with each other. A major depressive episode includes symptoms such as depressed mood, increased restless or decreased physical activity and feelings of worthlessness, among others.
The presence of psychotic symptoms in bipolar disorder places an individual at the severe end of the diagnostic spectrum, meaning that he exhibits more than the number of symptoms required to make the diagnosis. Also, these symptoms significantly interfere with his ability to function in his job, socially or within his relationships.

Psychotic Features Classification:
Psychotic symptoms can be congruent or incongruent. Mood-congruent psychotic symptoms are delusions, which are false beliefs, or hallucinations, which are false sensory perceptions, that are consistent with the person's current or most recent mood episode. For instance, a person who is having a manic episode may have delusions that she has special powers and is invincible. Mood-incongruent psychotic symptoms are delusions or hallucinations that are inconsistent with a person's most recent or current mood episode. An example would be a person experiencing a major depressive episode who reports the delusion of special powers. This false belief is inconsistent with the themes of powerlessness and helplessness that are common during depression.

Reviews

[Spookers]

Sometimes, Psychologists think they know what they are talking about, but they actually rarely do. The mind is a complex place that is not meant for us to understand. Plus, I am sure, even if you were diagnosed as bipolar, you are still whoever you deem yourself to be.

[TheFemininePad]

Bipolar people are some of the best people I have ever known. I know it can be difficult on you. Don't ever let people judge you, or try to associate you with words that are negative. Try to focus on the positive. Personally I think you are a strong person, and your poem demonstrates this. It's well written, and beautifully worded. I think you did a great job with it. Your Author's Note is very descriptive, and adds value and weight to the whole poem.

[Aristede Craig Jr]

its ok love you write and write bipolar or not you are strong to be a poet to be human love daily love always everything is beautiful when ugly is invisible

[RedInk524]

Interesting. It always does spark my interest to read first person accounts of a mental ailment. It is sad though that such afflictions are so widely misunderstood. Psycho, nut, crazy, they are all words meant only to belittle someone so that an "unafflicted" person can feel better about themself. That of course, is purely pathetic of people. But then again, people are s**t and you cant expect much from them. Good poem.

[CharlesMonroe]

I love this Ali. It's amazing. The form is wonderful, and your words really reach out and grab you, and drag you into your own world thats surrounded by wallas of your poem. Thats how I felt when I was reading it. Completley consumed by what you had wrote. I love it. And I can realte, in a whole lot of ways.
I love you Ali (: And sorry it took so long to get to these :P

[i-love-you-boo♥]

Its an amazing poem i really like it you did really really good =D

[joshua deathdealer]

I too admire this poem. Great form and I love the ending..xx

[Thea]

Aw...Great poem...Nice flow... :)))

[Jeremy Baker]

I hope this doesn't come across as condescending or patronising, but I admire incredibly your courage both in writing and sharing this. Mental health issues are too often swept under the carpet or people made to feel as outcasts and second-class citizens for living with these conditions. Your poem is proof (not that it is needed) that someone can live with a mental health disorder and still be a talented, upstanding and worthwhile human being. I hope you're wrong in saying that you are fighting this battle by yourself.

In terms of your poem, it's structure and pace belie the pace at which the self can change, and the fear it must induce. The descriptions are vivid, the rhetorical questioning is intense. The assertiveness that is evident is a fine message, one I support wholeheartedly. A beutiful work!

[Magic plus the mayhem.]

I can honestly understand this poem VERY well.,To well. Thank you for speaking the voice of many who understand this as well. Yet another great,amazing,beautiful,an more poem.