Disappointed Hope

Couples therapy session today for John and myself. -see author's note

~Anger annoyance
Finding my place
Heart is sheltering
Screaming in my face
Bodily function
What is left to do
I scream on the inside
Hiding all of me from you~

Painful embrace
You held me near
Try to work through
Therapists appear
Save us from anger
Endless tug of war
Pulling the rope
No reason for sure

“Pull from the middle
Your sure to get hurt
Stubborn outburst
We all adore
Lash out
With nothing to bare
Holding back
It’s the only way out of here
Forgiveness concept
Lists full of fear
Hiding a notion
That won’t be read by anybody here
Reasons you love him
They stay hidden for me
It will all come out
When we next meet.”

Your not who I thought
Perfect wasn’t near
You hid secrets
To save me from here
Mistakes melt
Better to know
Then hide from yourself


“Write out a list
Express yourself
Tell him you love him
That he saved you from hell
Hold on to love
I can see it’s still there
If it means anything
You not alone
He is willing to share”

Lies are consuming
Honesty takes guts
Rest assured
It will not come back to haunt
I love you always
Baby, It’s you I hold dear
Hold me close
I will wipe your tears
Fear of losing
Has made us concrete
Maybe we should give in
Except defeat
I can’t let in
Knowing you won’t be near
Haven’t you noticed
I’m not afraid of fear

~Anger annoyance
Finding my place
Heart is sheltering
Screaming in my face
Bodily function
What is left to do
I scream on the inside
Hiding all of me from you~

Author's Note

Taken from a session with our therapist today, I turned it into a poem. The parts that are bold are the therapist talking, the parts that are Italic are me.

John and myself both worked out a lot of aggression today. I think we are starting to find a middle point. We were told we were playing a game of Tug of war with each other and we we both to stubborn to let go of our side of the rope and let the other win and if anybody was to stand in the middle and try to grab the rope the would end up hurt in the cross fire and that is where all our fighting was coming from. We also went in depth about what makes us feel loved. It was an amazing session and I learned more about John than I have ever known.

Homework given to us: Write out a list of the things that you love most about each other.

Reviews

[Kayla K]

I loved the poem. I know you and John will get through this. Both your lists are already so long, so it's just proof.

[Spiral Panda]

At least it's helpful, the sessions, could be worse. Could just completely make your relationship worse and cause another huge fight, seems like even if you bicker over going at first due to being nervous, it's just because the fear is because you don't know entirely what to expect if you two get better, which you should, it's not the kind of fear and distrust that makes you scared without proper reason, ya know? Sorry if that was a jumbled thought..confused myself for a second but knew clear what I wanted to say.

[joshua deathdealer]

Nice. I don't know if I've ever seen a write quite like this, very original and well written.

[that weird guy]

i really liked this. i knew a couple just like this. great write