Mirrored Reactions

Taken from many conversations I have had with my boyfriend. It was written in the form of a conversation to add to the effect. The parts that are bold and Italic are supposed to be him.

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes.  ~Sally Field
~*~*~

Anguished disgust
It’s written on my face
Double chins
I can never erase
Pinch the skin
My thighs look like ham
My hair is ridiculous
So much for glam
~*~
Imperfections make you, you
Love who you are
They way others see you
When you look in the mirror
Be like me
Lie to yourself
It will make it easier
You’ll see
~*~
Easy to say
Look at you
Your body is perfect
Your skin the perfect hue
Hair golden
Tanned to the core
Quit playing innocent
You know what I mean
~*~
Your going crazy
You need to eat
Your starvation lust is killing me
What does it matter
What those girls said
You are beautiful
Even when you first get out of bed
Don’t get yourself down
You’ll see soon enough
Please consider
Giving it up
~*~
Black is the new pink
Makes me thinner
Even if it’s a scheme
I want to be something
More in my life
I want to see beauty
Be divine
Uniqueness is an option
But where will that road lead
Stick to what we know
Make me skinny
~*~
If only you knew
Your running out of time
Your beautiful
The only one who doesn’t see
Give up this game
Your killing me
Giving into your lust
No food to eat
Stop critiquing
You are beautiful to me.

Author's Note

I never liked what i saw when I looked in the mirror and I still don't, I am constantly putting myself down, The tiniest flaw will send me out of control. A lot of people have told me that I lie when I say that I have problems with loving myself or Being okay with my weight. But they are wrong, I know what it is like to go days without eating for fear of becoming fat. And I know what it is like to try to hide who you are with makeup and false smiles.
I have learned to love myself, not completely but with help it is a work in progress.

Reviews

[twylight999777]

Beautiful. And I know the feeling of not feeling good enough. Now I have a boyfriend who makes me feel beautiful. :) Even if my mom makes me feel fat...

[Sweet Emotions]

I can completely relate to this. I've had eating disorders, and several of my friends have as well. Last week I looked in the mirror naked, and burst into tears. You expressed the feelings associated with an eating disorder really well. This is beautiful, I'm adding it to my favorites, and showing my friend. I hope you learn to love yourself Ali.

[Jess Holden]

Well I like what i sees here :D

[Helpless]

amazing beauty in this poem.

[Kat]

Dude from reading your poems you are beautiful I never seen a photo of you but does that really matter you are soooooo pretty its called inner beauty my dad taught it to me at a young age what makes you who you are is your loving personality the outside is the outside take a book for example the outside is boring it looks boring but do you even know what its about? Have you read it before you need to know its story before you judge it just like people you don't know whats happened to them you don't know why they act that way you don't know anything about them so don't be too hard on yourself i was like that before kinda the only reason i didn't eat was because all the food in my house is bad but after awhile i realized i was pretty not just on the outside but on the inside don't kill yourself just because of your looks its stupid if people don't like you because"You don't look good" then there stupid and its their loss they don't deserve you people like that i feel bad for because they'll never know what true beauty is :)

[RedInk524]

It saddens me to hear of things like this. You do not need to be stick thin to be beautiful. And it does not matter what other people think of you. You are you and so be proud of it. I will never understand why women obsess so much about thier weight, ive seen too many beautiful girls ruin themselves over mere pounds. It horrible! And i hope i never understand either. I know im a guy and so of course im not expected to understand, but even i, a guy, am shocked and confused. A little weight isnt a bad thing, in fact i find that a lot of guys actually prefer it. Yes its bad to be obese, but if you have some meat on your bones or even a little pudge it really isnt that unattractive. It actually makes a lot of girls cuter. Dont hate yourself, dont worry about your weight like that. It shouldnt even matter anyways, you have a boyfriend who apparently doesnt mind at all and likely even likes it. So why worry about what other people think of your body? And even if someone doesnt have a boyfriend they still shouldnt worry. In fact, they should be proud of those pounds because having a little weight not only makes you look healthier but it also ensures that if you do find someone they will be more interested in you and not focused on curves and whatnot. Too many people focus on weight and appearance, and so it seems only the so called "imperfect" find someone true since they dont care about little mess ups even though they really arent mess ups. You are who you are, be proud of it. And if someone says otherwise to hell with them because they are likely part of the 90% of ignorant people that make up the human race. Love yourself, especially if someone else loves you too.
"Better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for who you are not"

Btw, nice poem. Loll, and once again you gave me reason to rant (which is something i enjoy).

[CharlesMonroe]

Ali...once again....this describes me exactlly...I love it, it made me cry. I don't know what I can even say about this..

[Celeste21]

No fear! I admire you Ali :)

[Solidad]

I can identify with this piece really well as a matter of fact it sounds like my husband and I. I'm much better about it. Granted I still have those days where I feel like a fat ugly chic with a lot of make-up on, I get through it. If you would trust your boyfriend with your heart you should also trust his opinion. If he thinks you're beautiful (which you are) then relish in it not refuse it. Well written :)

[∂αʌ<..]

i could see myself in this poem...and i like the positive end of the poem from your boyfriend's part...
its beautiful!