Without You, I'm Nothing II

Edited version of the first one....because i didn't like it very much.

A curtain of black,

And you were gone from my sight.

Soon, the pleasure you gave me

Turned into agonizing pain.

 

My heart drowned

In the flood of tears,

That I have shed just for you

Since the day you were taken away.

 

Rage built inside of me,

As the flames engulfed my skin.

I have endured the horrific torture,

In the bowels of hell, losing you.

 

I will move on, no doubt.

But nothing can replace what you were,

Sweet written words

That survived a lifetime of days.

 

You were my dreams,

And life's bittersweet memories

That caused me to cry,

Or replace my dark world with light.

 

You were love and passion.

Romances and tragedies,

Though stabbing like a knife upon my heart

I wish never to be forgotten.

 

I have made it this far,

Treading through the deep forest

Of sadness and despair,

Had it not been for you.

 

Without you, I am nothing

But a lost soul with a silenced voice,

With my mouth sewn shut,

And sanity spiraling out of control.

 

I grieve your death

Since that day you were gone.

But I will move on,

Though I am nothing without you.

 

Author's Note

The death of my poetry.

Reviews

[Ralphy]

This is a great wrtie.

Without you, I am nothing

But a lost soul with a silenced voice,

With my mouth sewn shut,

And sanity spiraling out of control.

Your deep love of poetry rings loud as you pour your heart and soul out on paper. I love this poem...please don't let it die. look like it was reincarnated anyway...great write

[Rosary]

wow. this one gets to you. it grips at your heart strings. its a rare very well put together piece.

[Robert Luna]

Surely we would all perish if such a thing was to happen. But at the same time I feel that poetry is a dying art form. People to often think of old style poetry and just don't like it because they don't understand it easily. That is why it is up to us modern day poets to write and to get our words out there to revive the love for words and the beauty the can only capture.


Great Job!!!!!!!

[Dawn]

You have done a beautiful job in expressing loss and great emotion, this is a lovely poem, and it does show a part of the person you are.
Poetry is very personal i think, and for each of us a different release.
Keep writing hun, and people will keep reading.
Dawn

[WritefromtheHeart]

I think this piece is extremely effective in capturing your emotions of loss and grief...that's what makes writing so amazing...the emotional release it gives us.

[Y.F.]

Well I liked the first one as well, but reading both of them I must agree that this one is better.
I like the way you change your emotions during the poem - that's really how a person feel when he loses something or someone - sadness, then anger, then regret and so on.

"Without you, I am nothing
But a lost soul with a silenced voice,
With my mouth sewn shut,
And sanity spiraling out of control." - My favorite stanza, with great imagery and description of emotions.

As I said over and over again - I think your work can be salvaged, and I hope the company repairing your computer will do that for you.
Thank you for sharing your emotions with us.

[THERISA]

Rayne, you are more than just your poetry. Its part of whom you are. Expressing your fear and hopes of your daily life in expressive verses that moves people emotionally. An emotional snapshot of the time that you're writing it out. Healthy way to release these emotions before they become toxic on you. The crash of your laptop, should be view as an opportunity for your find a new way to express yourself with the wider world. Thank you for sharing this very personal poem with us.

Therisa