Insane Asylum

Hovering above me,

Nurses and doctors try

Sticking the needles in my skin

As I begin to scream and cry.

 

Bound to these shackles,

Demanding to be set free

It’s the world’s fault,

Throwing away what’s left of me.

 

They unleashed the demons

From the cages of my soul,

Emotions grinding in my skull,

Losing all control.

 

Black clouds,

Pouring down acid rain

Poisoning my brightest days

With so much mental pain.

 

A battle of war,

Bombing inside my brain

One more to add to my collection

Now I’m completely insane.

 

In my padded room,

Where nothing matters at all.

Insanity has taken over me

As I sit here, quietly with my doll.

 

Reviews

[Michael X]

rayne, the reader can feel the ambience of this poem by way of title, and graphic, form and get a
semi emotional deptiction of what is to be expected in broad scope, as you intently bring the
details of the abandoned environment to life with well chosen wording, and equally impressive
rhyme, the powerfully invented image becomes very clear, and a riveting vision it is, one can
feel the overwhelming saddening mental anguish in the misdt of a suffering mind darkened by feelings
of hoplessness, and loss of control, to become one of those forgotten by a society who mostly
choose to look aware from the nightmares of reality. powerful, graphic, stunning, well done.

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

This poem hits home as we have many mental issues suffering with manic depression. I like the way you came to the point of the doll at the last line. Great write. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[Dominick]

This piece just inspired me for my next write. I see a few things I would have done different but just because I have mental issues ;)

I�m glad it had some kind of order to it, mental anguish poems can get hectic, emotional and hard to read. Even though your writing about an Insane Asylum or at least sanity, you kept it going from the Nurses in the beginning to the last peace of comfort you have left (the doll). "Throwing away what's left of me" Good metaphor showing that there is still something left but no one wants to bother fixing things. Thanks for sharing. I'll have to read more when I have a chance.

[Ralphy]

I like the way this is written. Although dark, it adds a touch imagination that sweeps me. I could place myself there which means I truly got your message...maybe one day, take me to paradise with that gift of yours.

[Tabatha P.]

Wow. Simply amazing. Very truthful and dark. Many times those who try to help us only hurt us more. You speak the truth and I was all too willing to listen. Wonderfully written. Kept my attention. Send a little shiver down my spine and the imagery was amazing.

[Robert Luna]

I slipped into your head
With the words I just said
Born of ignorance
And hate
Twisted philosophies soon become my fate
Mindless rants as they may appear to be
But you just listened to everything I had to say
Traveling through my own evolution
As my mind fills with other people's pollutions
I'll tell you all my secrets
But I have been know to lie about my past
In the midst of a drug induced illusion
I decided to try something new
Yet remaining chemically confused and high
I started to write
.
.
.
Feeling like an unfinished symphony
Longing to be complete
So fucked up now
I don't even recognize me
.
.
And as I start to breakdown
I watch memories roll
Like a bad daytime TV show
I sit and wait for a commercial
So I can pause and take a pee break
I look in your head and see
Imaginary friends that
Won't even come out to play
Turn their back and pretend
They don't see me as I wave
It's all becoming clear now
I am no longer the doctor here
I have become the patient
In your clinic of fear
These are your words I write
But my own truth's I find
I am the crazy one here

Instead of helping they ended up being the cause of the insanity. A wonderful twist.

Good choice of words, good rhythm, and good form.

Message is well imparted.

Good read.

[THERISA]

A very dark poem about a very uncomfortable subject that people don't want to face with. Let's lock the people away and never have to deal with them until there is a crisis situation. Your imagery paints this picture in graphic detail to the reader. Drawing the reader in until the end. Thank you for sharing this thought provoking poem with us.

Therisa

[Y.F.]

Chilling.
That last line really adds a lot to the whole picture.
Superb imagery, great rhyming, and a very interesting subject.