Goodbye Darling

A collaboration with supervillianx0

Dear darling,
my love for you shall never cease.
Now that you've left my side I have to rest in peace.
Life is hard when you're living without someone who cares.
When we parted ways I fell into disrepair.
The despair I feel is too much for me to take.
I plan to drive my car into the nearest lake.
Drowning literally is way better than drowning in sorrow.
Please remember our good times because I'll be dead tomorrow.
I think of you and there's so much that I miss.
I only wish I could've gotten one final kiss.
But life's a b***h up until the day you die.
So I wrote this letter just to say goodbye.

     

 

 

Dear darling,

I received your letter yesterday

Yet all my tears for you no longer stay

Though I wish you were here with me

My heart bleeds for you and aches to be free

I entrapped my heart in barbwire for someone new

No one else in this world for me, except you

When you drove your car in to the lake

My heart drowned with you, I felt so much ache

Every night I stop and stare in the heavens above

Wishing you were by my side, giving me all your love

The stars in the midnight sky are sparkling

So I wish you a goodnight, my goodbye darling

 

 

 

Author's Note

supervillian - red italic
rayne - regular, black

Reviews

[Ralphy]

Oh my God, you have brought tears to my eyes wrenching my stitches as I wonder how a love so enduring could be driven away. It's such a sad but moving piece�

[Sally Edwards]

Lovely collaboration, so tragic and poignant, I love the picture too,goes perfectly with the poem.

[Midnight Rose ~*Anna Ro..]

Awesome. And that picture went along with it beautifully. the work of some amazing poets. hope to be just as good.

[Voltaire Mephisto (aka ..]

I just saw this as a chance to have a little fun with one of the poets that shared my taste in literature. The reason it may sound like a repeat of other works is because over time a lot of people can feel the way the people in the poem are portrayed. (Did I spell that right?) As for the rhyming, who cares? It's always been more about the message, but it wouldn't be fun to me if it didn't sound smooth too!

[Fran Marie]

A wonderfully penned collab write~ well done indeed!~Fran

[Candle in the wind]

Why do you we have to say good bye and why do we have to let go??Why do dreams fade why does reality invade perhaps seeking oblivion from pain is the best option but then we cant we have so many constraints!Loved your joint venture.

[L. Norris]

Ok, in regards to accusations of 'timeless' and 'creative' unduly stapled on this running-mascera writing. The only sense in which this is timeless is that its creation comes from a long tradition of reincarnating the same cliche poem over and over again with very slight variations. This poem has been written by bad writers timelessly. Any browser of poetry.com or here for that matter will see this, and let me prove my point with, well, everything here. Let's start with this:

"my love for you shall never cease."

Has anyone ever heard this line used in poetry before? Yes? Okay, now this phrase to match up the previous line, has this ever come up in similar work to rhyme the previous:

rest in peace.

Yes? So if you have just two lines, and keep in mind these are virtually the first two lines of this work, if you have two lines that are this repeatable is this origenal? No. If this is not artisically origenal can it be called creative? No. There are exceptions to this for those already unwilling to even fathom this, reaching their clickers for the [not constructive] button at the bottom of this review, I shall list them. #1 Parody. #2 allusion. #3 Satire. None of which is going on here. And I would argue this lacks real artistic talent. The rhyme used here is typical of this typical type, examples are as follows separated by commas:

cease, peace; care, despair; sorrow, tomorrow; miss, kiss; die, goodby; yesterday, stay; me, free; new, you; love, above;

the main exceptions in this were sparkling-darling, which fell out of the catagory entirely, and take-lake. Not amazing or really that noteworthy, though rhyming with 'darling' is a bit of a trick and I appreciate this approach. Really. Most human beings don't have enough sense to use implied rhymes (I can't remember what the real technical term is at the moment) so structurally I would like to note this in favor of the author. This is all this gets (sorry, I don't believe in A for Effort) unfortunatelly, I've even seen this duel letter form before too many times. There is even a bad country song called 'By the Willow', I believe this is the title but I don't listen to country so I'm not sure, but it does the same thing. My advice? Pay better attention in English class. Avoid Poe because you will inevitably copy him. Read poets like T. S. Eliot, Dante, Shakespeare (the Sonnets), Ezra Pound, James Joyce (he did poetry too, read Chamber Music), etcetera. Study language. Study structure. Keep writing and refine your writing.

[These Haunted Hallways]

Ah, this was excellent!! Awesome collaboration, the both of u!! It is really tragic that it happened that way. I can feel the sadness and the love that is still there, present, and both lovers weep, wishing that they were together once again/for one last time. Cool poem, u guys!

B.A.

[Lorraine Pearson]

A wonderfully tragic write. Very vivid, and the collaboration works so well together. Nice piece!
~Lorraiyne

[Rain]

Wow,
Very creative. I didn't know I was reading two. At first I thought another " I can't live without you" poem, but you set the reader up. Pretty clever. Rain..