Fate

She is cruel...

Reminded,

By the rain

The cruelty of fate

Tempting me,

Again and again

Then leaving my heavy heart

In agony and pain

Stabbing me,

With her poisoned arrow

Falling so deeply in love.

She crosses my path, once more

Feeling love's violent wrath.

Memories linger,

Within the shadows of my mind

Bound and chained,

I cannot escape...

 

 

 

Reviews

[None]

Tania sent this over to me and I'm so pleased she did! What a treasure you have written here. The hand of fate has struck again--this time in the form of an exquisite poem. Every word is lovely. I'm saving this to favorites. I hope in the future Fate will deal out diamonds and hearts to us both!

[Tania Leigh]

Fate as a woman with an agenda is very intriguing. Can we change our fate? Perhaps....but only temporarily, as a new version takes its place. This is a fascinating subject, as it affects everyone. I love how you said,

"The cruelty of fate
Tempting me,"

lol, a nice change from the old cliche "tempting fate".
Excellent write.

[Brenda Sue]

Sounds actually like the journey into widowhood. No pain can compare. Beautifully penned. Great job.

[JC Fox]

Fate is a cruel mistress

[Collette]

You have a very solid start to an emotionally charged piece. As usual, you language is very descriptive, and I immediately felt myself being drawn into the pain of this poem. It's a topic many can relate to, and I am no different. You struck a chord within my own heart, and I definitely feel the despair you're conveying. I especially loved the oxymoron in this line:
"Feeling love's violent wrath."

Ironically beautiful.

However, I'm not sure how I feel about the flow of this piece. It's choppy and sporadic, and it somewhat distracted me from the meaning in your words. Of course, if you intended for it to be somewhat choppy, leave it as is. I could see using that angle to increase the meaning within the piece...

thanks for sharing!

[Valentine]

Perhaps looking for the same traits on a person is the problem here..Undoubtedly you are not searching for that one that would blend with your own traits..God bless...Valentine

[Y.F.]

Many people believe we are bound to repeat our past, no matter what we do or what choices we may make in our life.
We're all on fate's roller coaster, and there's no getting off.
I can talk about fate for hours on end, because my belief is that fate has been misinterpreted by society, and been turned into something it's not, but I don't wish to bore you.
I really enjoyed the imagery, and the comparison of fate to cupid.

[Sparrow]

Chains hm? All you need is a blowtorch, I think. It'll take care of those chains. It only torments you if you let it but sometimes it's comforting to let yourself backslide and revel in what you had once. Once you're ready though that big giant blowtorch materializes out of nowhere.

This piece was touching, it brings the reader along with the poet down the journey, looking at the rain and remembering. Great job, keep it up :)

[Kyle A. Smith]

hmmmm
i like the opening..
but, i don't know,

its hard to explain.
fate is hard to explain.

i guess i just read it too hasitly
after reading it another four times,
i saw its worth finally.
gahh.

I'm just too picky :)

(ps. the ending is good too after thinking
how it would be to be trapped inside my memories)

[Nik Dendera]

Like it! Its harsh, the picture you paint. Its simple, yet says a hundred thinsg at once.
Great piece!