The Man In The Bar

A collaboration with Yuval Freund - she's in black bold - I'm in red italic

 

As I sit and wonder

on the day that have passed,

I've notice some air

on one side of the glass.

 

Job has been hard

and the boss unforgiving.

I came here to forget

now I think about leaving.

 

My eyes drift aside,

suddenly - there she is.

Is that a serious look,

or is she trying to tease?

 

As I walk to her table

my hands start to sweat.

What should I say

to this girl I've just met?

 

I'm not that kind of man,

but before I could think

I found myself ordering

two of her drink.

 

As we started to talk

I felt a connection.

I hope that she too

shares my attraction.

 

Just a girl in a bar

Looking pretty and petite

Hating every man I've met

Everyone of them decides to cheat

 

I planned to drink

Til the night is through

Maybe it's the drinks talking

I feel like I'm falling for you

 

Cupid has shot me yet again

Succumbing to his arrow's poison

As I keep staring into those eyes

Almost numb without a reason

 

A guardian angel

Or the devil in disguise

Hopefully not another man

To push my heart's demise

 

After all it has been through

As I'm wishing upon a star

Maybe it's the drinks talking

Falling for the man in the bar

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Yuval - black bold
Rayne - Red italic

Reviews

[Captain Blackheart (The..]

What a wonderful write, great flow. A brilliant collaberation!

[THERISA]

Great concept using the bar and the meat market that surrounds it. The fears and hopes of two lonely people sitting there. Both of you, Yuval and Rayne captured the insecurities and hopes in this poem. Thank you for teaming up for this poem and sharing it with us.

Therisa

[George Love]

Very good work, nicely written and well played off each perspective.

[Nik Dendera]

Interestingly done-showing both perspectives at once.
Really well written, well done to you both!
I love the establishment of setting in the first stanza and the atmosphere that then follows; the smokey bar, the girl alone at a table...
Excellent write-loved it!

[Y.F.]

Wow, great job! :)
I'm really pleased with the overall outcome as well.
Nice doing business with you. :P