Heart

Been working on this the last few days I've been M.I.A -- may be a work in progress, not sure how i feel about this yet.

A treasure box

Inside one’s soul

A holding cell for emotions

Locked in a crystalline chest

 

A window of love

The warmth of a candle

Romance and passion

As tenderness and pleasure

Of another, finds the key

Opening a door, unleashing

A bittersweet harmony

The translucent skies of desire

 

If broken,

Glass shatters

Like a thousand knives,

A painful agony

Lingering for days on end

 

 

Author's Note

Feel free to pass along any suggestions or advice - I'm open to anything.

Reviews

[Skye Jules]

I loved it! A perfect description of the human heart.

[.]

Damn, yea, this was definitely good! It's so true, too. A heart with all of these characteristics and personalities inside of it, made especially for a special someone to express everything too, but it may fall to the floor, and spill out all of these important things in pieces when someone breaks the heart, or if it's not handled properly. Very thought-provoking piece hehe.

Mikey

[JC Fox]

I like it, I'm not sure if I would add to it or if I would leave it.

[Nicole Renee]

I really liked the flow and imagery with this. :D Great job!

-Nicole

[George Love]

Id you think of anything else to follow a verse in the middle of this work, you might add to it, but I don't think I would change the ending. This is a complete work as is save a couple artistic edits. Excellent work, great imagery.

[John Parker]

The box and the key that opens it......a wonderful write......not big on the love poetry but this was a good write........so many times we all lock that box and let no one in......some of us have tired to let others open it up and just add more chains to the outside of it to keep them from getting inside.......but, there is that one person that can make those chains free themselves and open that lock that has rusted and believed to be unlockable.........finding that one person is the most wonderful thing that can happen to a person.......not to say that not only that person can be loved.......a friends love is a dear thing also.......well done on this write

[yinseriv]

I like the image of the box within the soul being a treasure box. So many have turned it into an iron maiden. Plus I like the ending in that you have placed a finite amount of time to the pain felt when broken. There is a promise of healing and hope to that finite amount of time. Thank you for the poem.

[Y.F.]

I really like the imagery.
A diamond in the rough :)
It's really hard for me to point out the exact thing that needs improvement, as I see pieces as wholes, but I would surely do some rebuilding on the middle stanza.
The last one is great as it is - very powerful.

[*** Hey Jude***]

These are strong emotions that you have written with such depth. I love the ending, it carries such truth! Missed you ~ Jude :-) xo