Starry Night Of You

Gay & Lesbian

 

Thunderous roars

Of our hearts

Beating together

As one

An astronomical pleasure

Of existence

A love, forbidden in sin

Of us, bound together eternally

Light reflects

On your beautiful eyes,

Starry diamonds

 Gazing into the universe

Kingdoms come,

Milky way screams

Tender kisses of passion

Within our souls

Exploring,

Deeply in your arms

And sweet tender touch

In the starry night of you

Author's Note

Different for me, any advice or suggestions are welcome.

Reviews

[poddar kushal]

first and avobe all this is a work of wonder. i respect your analytical mind and the lyrical expressions it pens
("Beating together

As one" -there should be a puntuation or should the "an" be dropped in the next line.)

"And sweet tender touch

In the starry night of you"-i like the way the night is personified in the last line. beautiful.

[JR]

i really liked it, but it seemed almost sad as if it was something ou wanted.

[SweetPeachesAlways]

Milky way screams
Tender kisses of passion
Within our souls
Exploring,
Deeply in your arms
And sweet tender touch
In the starry night of you

This is so sinfully delicious! Very nice writing, very poetic! Very good flow and rhythm, balance is great! Very visual, too! A very tender and expressive write....

[.]

Brilliant, and such a very romantic piece. Wonderful job!!!

Mikey

[THERISA]

Love knows no boundaries, as your poem so beautifully expresses it to the reader.Sadly, its people that made love, a sin. Thank you for sharing this passionate poem with us.

Therisa

[George Love]

Very lyrical write. Maybe explore a few more works like these. This shows expansion and growth in you as a writer. Well done!

[jeRRy.whaLLey]

this is lyrical and you skilfully blended Van Gogh's twinkle from starry starry night in the passionate embrace of the lovers here wrestling as one - well done

my favourite of his pieces and what a Lover to uncover this in the bedroom of delight

[Blackbirdsong]

No advice to offer here and that's because it's wonderful as you've written it. This poem has a circular feel that is quite lovely - along with everything else. You really show a great deal of passion here, not to mention your word usage which kept to the theme of the sky without going overboard at all. Well done. My only suggestion...explore some more writing like this and see where it takes you.

[Forest Green]

Thrilling; uplifting in its great imagery that comes through nicely.

Thank you for the send.

Forest

[Marie]

nice