Slave

A slave

And yet so loyal,

Bound by my own thoughts

Chained tightly

To broken dreams

 

With a chaotic life

I must live with such torture

Working hard for nothing

No gold, or wishes granted

 

Lost in a sea of despair

Like a Cinderella tale

In the dark corners of my mind

Stuck between souls

 

No sympathy, nor care

Seeing no pain within these eyes

A world of loneliness and betrayal

Kept hidden within my heart

 

Forcibly trying

To escape these bonds

That embrace me

In fear

 

To run freely

And hold freedom

In a tight embrace

With a life of justice

 

Reviews

[Y.F.]

This poem is so beautiful, and can be interpreted in so many ways
The captive, the slave, the cage - they can all be seen as different things and concepts.
We all have our own personal prison we're trying to run away from.
I've really enjoyed the imagery, and combined with wonder flow, this poem has led me into far away places within my mind (literally.. :)).
Definitely one of your best.

[Michael X]

i am really impressed by the embracing focus, the forceful contemplative aspect, how the meaning effects
the soul, as your words are sculpted.a molded desire to present the relinguishment of the heart, what takes
the reader to another place and time is its ability to lead the reader through with metaphoriccal imagery, which is apparent in the first line,

A slave

And yet so loyal,

Bound by my own thoughts

Chained tightly

To broken dreams"

the rhythm has a specific flow which encapsulates the passionate feeling,the writing in its entire has a grand, theatrical effect, you defnitely have embraced your own style, and the word placement in this piece, clearly shows no punctuation is needed, and that also being one of the aspects which holds the meaning as artistic,

also the way you are able to speak emotions into the readers heart reflects the creativeness, having read this like 5 times already, as to identify key points of intrigue, i am most captivated by the flow, very smoothe,
rayne, whats great about your work is the fact its enjoyable to read, the defintion speaks eternally to the heart, in way of wanting to be free,this is a true heart's telling, and mirrors your talent nicely, i am sure readers can find many aspects to relate to, its beautifully done, nice job, mike

[Jaffa Forbes]

very interesting. i like the line 'to run freely/ And hold freedom' That's very good.
jaff

[John Parker]

Well written piece.......most of society are slaves.......slaves to the every day grind with no hope of ever getting free....

[mattavelli]

Great thoughts here.
Have fun. :)