Eternal

Got this in my head after listening to Evanescence's Eternal

Love is eternal
A bond you can’t escape
An unending romantic journey
Sweeping you off your feet

Succumbing to the poison
Inside of cupid’s arrow
Following your heart
Straight down to your lover’s path

Almost like a curse
You are bound the one you love
In shackles and chains
Like a slave waiting for duties
To be done

Storms rage
As the fires of desire burn
Thunder rumbles with excitement
As the lightning of love strikes

Good enough or strong enough
Can’t help but wonder these things
In a love so precious
A dream world,
In an awaking state
A world in which to never escape

Rain pours,
As the thunder does roar
With an ocean of tears
Drowning in the pain
Of raging storms

Remaining together
A love that can last forever
For love is eternal.

Reviews

[Matthew Kult]

Great write. I like your look upon it and dance you used with the words. An excellent piece.

Matthew

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

a strong and evocative piece, full of fire and lust to the point of love, well written, great read.

[[untitled]]

http://poeticvoice.ning.com/

We are an online writing community that provides writers with the feedback, motivation, and advice needed to achieve their writing goals.The Poetic Voice Community is fast and easy to join, and you will not get lost in it's easy maneuvering features. We here at Poetic Voice also hope to grow as a community of friends. Our intention, and wish is to learn and share with others. Basically we believe an open mind, and heart can promote growth. We hope to gain an understanding that can stretch and reach around the world.

[An owl on the moon]

The darkness and light dance in your world of love.. of passion.. of purpose. Love is vast and enchanted, and it does last... even if we ignore its voice. So deep and meaningful.

[ShanZ-Turn]

I liked this, enjoyed reading it. my favorite thing about it was the picture you creatad with the two stanzas about the storm

Storms rage
As the fires of desire burn
Thunder rumbles with excitement
As the lightning of love strikes

Rain pours,
As the thunder does roar
With an ocean of tears
Drowning in the pain
Of raging storms

I would love to see something using this metaphor as the entire write... basically starting with what's above, and adding some verses.. not much would need to be added to create a real powerful image.


L8 - I think if you took out the to in this line it may flow better
L10 - I would add the to fro L8 to this line (lol)....bound to the one you love.

just my thought's I liked it, good job.

[Mike Zentz]

I like how you use negative imagery to make positive statements

[charlotte talley]

this is a nice little poem on Eternal. and you are right Love is eternal lasting.

[ah]

this is great...my favorite part was where u talked about the rain pouring and the thunder roaring, thanx for asking me to read, keep writing

[bluessadmood]

so sweet words of love ,you reminded me of my youth when the flames of love ignited so tender a heart ,it was agonizing but just the eternally sweet feeling ,oh love so nice all torments ,it brings the best in you ,i liked your words so much

[~crazy Beautiful~]

nice piece
my favorite stanza
"Rain pours,
As the thunder does roar
With an ocean of tears
Drowning in the pain
Of raging storms "
love the imagery in this one
thank you for entering my contest