Quiet

Quiet

A Poem by Tori Belle
"

Shhhhhh....

"

There is no way out,
From this hole I am in,
I keep searching and searching,
There is no way out.


No one can hear me,
From this ditch I am in,
I keep screaming and yelling,
But no one can hear.


They just ignore me,

From this trench I am in,
I keep crying and pleading,
And they ignore me.


I must seem quiet,
From this hollow I'm in,
They keep looking but walking,
I must seem quiet.

© 2014 Tori Belle


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Featured Review

In life --- if you wish to tune the person out -- you can...it seems that's what this poem is doing for the reader...no matter how loud you scream...the people are on a different wavelength...and cannot hear you...or just plain ignorance...I wonder if the last stanza would better this way:

I must seem quiet,
From this hollow I'm in,
They keep looking but walking,
I must seem quiet.
---
I must seem quiet,
From this hole I'm in,
They keep looking but walking,
I must seem quiet.

---

Hollow seems the wrong word choice...but this is your work...and just an observation on my part...

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tori Belle

10 Years Ago

Thank you so much for your review. I'll definitely take that into consideration. I always did have a.. read more
Glen Yumang Manese

10 Years Ago

you're welcome...



Reviews

A beautifully descriptive write with mixed rhyme and metaphors, so lovely to read.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Tori Belle

10 Years Ago

Thank you for your review! I am glad you enjoyed it.
In life --- if you wish to tune the person out -- you can...it seems that's what this poem is doing for the reader...no matter how loud you scream...the people are on a different wavelength...and cannot hear you...or just plain ignorance...I wonder if the last stanza would better this way:

I must seem quiet,
From this hollow I'm in,
They keep looking but walking,
I must seem quiet.
---
I must seem quiet,
From this hole I'm in,
They keep looking but walking,
I must seem quiet.

---

Hollow seems the wrong word choice...but this is your work...and just an observation on my part...

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tori Belle

10 Years Ago

Thank you so much for your review. I'll definitely take that into consideration. I always did have a.. read more
Glen Yumang Manese

10 Years Ago

you're welcome...

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134 Views
2 Reviews
Added on July 28, 2014
Last Updated on July 28, 2014
Tags: quiet, depression, sadness, searching, ignored, neglect, shadow, alone, lonely

Author

Tori Belle
Tori Belle

CA



About
15 years and dreaming of getting good pay for my writing and wanting to travel the world. She was in love with cities she'd never been to and people she'd never met. She loved mysteries so much she.. more..

Writing
idk yet 2 idk yet 2

A Poem by Tori Belle