Dan was slumped, lost in the
invariable reverie of his Sunday mid-afternoon and wistfully cast his mind back
through the leaves of time to the pulverising semi-autobiographical story he’d
written several years earlier during a frantic writing phase when he had to get
everything in his head on paper before his skull blew up. It took three months.
The story revolved around two people, near exact mirrors, each carrying the
same burden and manner in which it was shouldered; each facing life’s myriad
trials with the same dark and preposterous humour. They were soul mates, made
for each other, woven in the same fabric, patterned with the same design, held
together by the same glue. How does this happen, two individuals with distinct genetic
identities, developmental narratives, sub-cultural influences and environments
become twins? The tale, though magical at first, wondrous in its multi-coloured
dream-world depiction of young love and the potential for both existential and
interpersonal happiness, becomes so woefully bleak and disturbing that it is
difficult to keep looking at the unfolding words, the impulse is to close one's
eyes and imagine a more pleasant and hopeful page-filler (a child with a huge
smile and a coloured-in ball). As it is that these two, near perfect match,
find themselves in such an intensified bond, forged through years of
interpersonal reinforcing and identifying, figuratively and physically, cling
to each other so tightly, through fear that they may, at any one point, lose
each other entirely (or indeed fractionally) that they crush one another to dust
(conjugal death) and exist thereafter as mere fragments (figments), shattered
characters, shards, jigsaw pieces, pitifully
incomplete, incapable of attaining anything tangible or real or wholesome
again; apart physically but forever together in their souls, emotionally in a
state of catatonic regression, fixed in that phase of perfection: their hearts,
as their minds and bodies move on in reckless futility without sense or guidance,
careless and wanton, in ironical parallel nihilism.