Boris The Spider

There was a Spider in the Bath. I was inpired.(I didn't Keep the Spider)

 

This is the story of how I, Boris the spider, came to live in a jam Jar, it is neither an important story, or a partially interesting tale, but I feel the need to tell it, so that my other kinsmen will know that little screaming girls aren’t really that bad.

 

*

 

 

 

“There’s a spider in the bath!” Screams the little girl Emily, who lives in the house where my bathroom is situated.

 

She backs slowly away from the bath and gropes behind her at the door handle, she is terrified of me. Ha serves her right, wanting to take a bath right in the middle of the day when the bath is warmest (they have very nice windows that let the light in AND protect your privacy; it’s brilliant for a little spider like me).

 

I start scuttling towards the wall of the bath and try to make my escape before Emily’s nanny comes to wash me down the plug hole. Not that washing me down the plug hole does much good. You see we spiders have adapted over time and have a brilliant body which allows us to roll ourselves up in to a tight ball and get washed down the plug hole, then we wait until the time is right and clime right back up again.

 

Still it’s not a very pleasant process and one would rather not have to go through it at all if possible, so as I was saying, I scuttled rather ungracefully towards the of the bath and up into one of the corners of the large room where even faithful old Nanny Margaret  can’t catch me.

 

But I’m not quick enough just as I’ve reached the top of the bath Emily’s Nanny comes in cup in one hand and piece of paper in the other.

 

Oh Dear God she’s going to throw me out the window.

 

I scamper away very awkwardly, all thought of manners thrown away as I try to rush away. If I can just get away I can escape the horror of being thrown out of the window.

 

I’m not fast enough however, just as I’m am making it over the shampoo stand the shadow of a great plastic yellow cup looms above me and in the next second the immense dome is over me trapping me from any form of escape.

 

Not three seconds later the white piece of paper is slowly but surly being slid under the beaker and forcing me to crawl up the sides of my prison and hope for some mercy.

 

I feel the cup being risen up into the air as though it were a prize. I hear Nanny walking over to the window and raising me up higher to toss me out into the cold air, to plummet down to earth as if I were no more than a raindrop falling from a cloud. I am indisputably about to fall to my death. AS I think this unpleasant thought, I suddenly think of cheese and how nice it would have been to taste it.

 

I have often heard many friends (mostly humans) talking about this pleasant treat and now I shall never taste it. Just like I shall never see sunlight again, or I shall never see my many children again.

 

I feel overwhelmingly sad about the fact that I have come to terms with my certain death that it takes me a few seconds to realise that I am not dead and that the great yellow cup is being lowered and that Emily is talking again.

 

“Don’t kill him!” she shouts rather loudly “I was him as a pet,” this was a sudden change of heart “I’ll call him Boris and I’m going to keep him in a jam jar,”

 

“But dear,” this was nanny speaking now “it’s a spider, you don’t want a spider for a pet,”

 

 I am personally offended, why wouldn’t she want a spider for a pet

 

“Why don’t you ask your daddy for a nice Kitty, or a puppy, how does that sound?”

 

“But I want a spider!” the little girl screamed again.

 

She pulled the cup out of her nanny’s grip and marched down stairs to find a jam jar and plonk me very viscously into it.

 

*

 

So that my dear friend is the short, Chronicle in my life that depicts how I came to live in my current place of residence.

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

You have a wonderful sense of humor,
adventure and spirit.
Nineteen pages of titles. You should be
eligible for the Guinness world record for
number of poems written.
So, you were plunked into a jar and that
is how you came to your place of residence.
I did`bt read them all of course, but enough
to decide that you are something special.
Thank you Special.
----- Eagle Cruagh

[Nita]

Heehee, this made me laugh and actually feel sorry for spiders. There were some grammar and spelling mistakes, but overall, good!

[Cassidy Mask]

I love this story very muchly! :D
The world needs more light hearted humour! :P

[Eira Anchor]

What a great guy!

Ahh, this is good. Claire makes me want to write really seriously and then i get stuck. This reminds me of how I love to write (:

[Mintwhiskers]

Wonderful I really enjoyed it i love the name boris and i love spiders I think it is awesome