Listen to my Heart

Becks: I don’t know why I’m recording myself. I guess I’m just bored… No. It’s because I want someone to know what happened. I… I… I know someone, somewhere will hear this, and I also know that by the end of this they will hate me. So be it.

I’m Bellatrix Marie St. Claire. Formal, I know. And no, I’m not a witch who went to a wizardry school opposite to Hogwarts. My parents are huge nerds, and the series was popular when I was born. Don’t worry, my brothers’ names are Remus, Albie, and Nevel. My sisters are Luna and Myrtle. The tragedy of having five siblings is beyond explanation. Anyways, I don’t go by Bellatrix. It’s lame. And, no, I don’t go by Trixie or Bella either. I’m Becks. Bexie if you want me to punch you in the face. Just Becks. No hearts or diamonds or stars. Just Becks. That’s the way I like it.

Not that I like much of anything anymore. The general population of the world has kind of ruined happiness for me. I used to love the moon, until my sister told me the silver reminded her of the razor she cuts herself with. I loved the sun until Maleficent (a.k.a. Mallory Jansen) stole my brother with her thick golden hair. I loved the sky until my blue eyed mother died. I loved the very concept of love until the first time my father hit me, and it shattered my heart. I loved a lot of things, especially Sterling. Sterling was my forever.

Sterling Knight was seventeen when I met him. I was only thirteen, but he made my heart pound. He was in high school and loved to play guitar and was kind of a bad boy, ya know? I thought that he was the love of my life. I was right. For once.

I met him at a bonfire that I went to with my sister, Luna, who was sixteen. She was perfect. She had sleek black hair and vivid green eyes with pale skin like a goddess. Everyone else thought it too. She was perfect unlike my muddy hazel eyes blotchy olive skin and tangly light brown hair. I was a mess.

But Sterling noticed me. He noticed the lanky, awkward little eighth grader. I wonder to this day why he did. Maybe he saw I was with Luna or just was bored of everyone else. I don’t know. He did is all that matters. He said, “Hey,” poetic right? And asked me every question under the stars. Never once stopping me when I babbled even though it made absolutely no sense. Sterling was my first kiss. Under the moon and the stars we kissed behind the oak tree in my backyard. It was perfect. We sang stupid songs with the radio and ate Doritos and salsa. In that moment, I let my guard down for the very first time. I loved myself... and him, especially him. I wanted to be with Sterling forever more than I had ever wanted anything before. That summer before high school was the best thing that ever happened to me. For the longest time I believed it too. Then I started freshman year. Everything changed. I know you are probably bored to tears by the gushy, mushy, cheesy love story that I retold. Don’t pause the CD. It gets better, I mean worse, I mean... Whatever. You get the idea.

I was prepared just like everyone else. Pencils, paper, a new phone. I wanted this to be my school. Cliche, I know, but I was the hopeful 9th grader who wanted to be big! I was in too many extra curricular activities to count, I had all of the teachers eating from the palm of my hand before the end of the day, and I had a boyfriend: Sterling. I had everything figured out. I thought so anyway. Then I saw Maleficent, the girl who stole my brothers heart. She was popular because she had b***s by fifth grade, and to most guys… that’s all that matters. Most guys… but not Sterling. He was different. Or so I thought. Until the day I caught him kissing Luna by the junior’s lockers. It was no peck on the cheek either. They made out for a full two minutes before Sterling came up for air and looked behind him to see a heartbroken me staggering down the hallway sobbing and slobbering all over my new binders and note cards. My world was shattered. No… obliterated. Luna was going to pay! And Sterling, he was going to die.

I’m not crazy! You all know that Sterling Knight was killed in a car accident, so do I, but I know why. I broke up with him, left him with his heart obliterated too. I wanted him to know that his pain could be that of mine. I didn't want him to actually die. I swear! I just wanted to mess with his head.

Author's Note

This a monologue that I wrote for a play I am writing! Please review and rate. I am braced for harsh criticism and am open to suggestions.

Reviews

[Haunted Dreams]

I honestly love this monologue! It could have been worded a bit differently in a few bits but apart from that it was great. Wish you had written more.