In the Dark

I lie in the dark
My eyes squeezed tight
But the memories still abound
Pressing against will
They struggle like salmon with the stream
The stream of things I wish to try to think about.
Moments of joy
Incidents of iconic bliss
Moments where if there were tears
They were of happiness.
But, alas, Bad Ones come like a flood
Slaughtering my feelings of good
Forcing their way in
As invaders of old.
Once the skimmish ends
I'm left with the Victors of war
Now fighting among themselves
To be the First
Who wins tonight �"
A death?
A change?
A loss?
A broken heart?
Crushing blows, the fists of memories pound at my heart.
Thoughts come sharp as daggers
What should I have done differently �"
Could have done differently �"
To affect an alternate outcome?
Tears roll, a steady tide
Collecting at my cheeks
They drip down steadily from my face
In an endless chasm of grief.
Where the freedom of bliss?
When will sleep take me?
Take me into it's deep tendrils of peace
To a place where these beasts cannot find me as easily?
Sleep, I long for you
Peace, take me
To a place I feel I belong.

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

The mind wanders continually, like a swimming shark. It touches on many different topics every day. Sometimes those topics are unpleasant memories, but the mind doesn't care, as long as it can find some source of stimulation. It doesn't care if it's the past or the future, as long as it can keep moving. Stillness in the present moment is unbearable, because some part of the mind equates it with death.