LAST MILE

Was it just the wind blowing upon my skin
That sent a shiver making me draw within
Or was it the memories I could not defend
The faces and places I should have befriend

The winding path I dared to trod through life
Took its toll slicing my soul with a rusty knife
I paid the pound of flesh from my corrupt soul
Praying time not temptation would fill the hole

But I now walk the last mile of God's great gift
Balanced between heaven and hell's fiery rift
Slow going the uphill climb for judgments decree
To shed my skin, my sins and again be truly free
                            Bear

Author's Note

I leave most punctuation to the reader that they can read the poem in their own meter, mood and motility. I thank you for taking the time to read my work.

Reviews

[Hope]

The last stanza quite stood out:)
I adore your style Bear!
Rhyme with meaning!
Great poem.

[Bear]

Thank you, it just proves that if you do something long enough you will eventually master it and after rhyming for over five decades rhyming is almost second nature for me now :~)

[Hope]

Always a pleasure

[Stacy Purvis]

Wow. This is amazing. Form, rhyme, emotion, perfection. Thank you for sharing.

[Bear]

Oh my, thanks for the glowing review, I am glad you enjoyed it. I shall gladly return the read and review favor soon :~)

[APOORVA]

Was it just the wind blowing upon my skin
That sent a shiver making me draw within
OH I JUST FELL FOR THIS STARTING OF YOURS.

I paid the pound of flesh from my corrupt soul
Praying time not temptation would fill the hole
BEAUTIFUL RHYME AS WELL, I PAID THE PROUD FLESH..SUPERB MIND SET MATE. WHAT A THINKING PROCESS BEHIND THIS POEM.

But I now walk the last mile of God's great gift
Balanced between heaven and hell's fiery rift
MY FAVORITE LINES ROM YOUR PIECE, SUPERB.
WELL WRITTEN KEEP UP

[Bear]

Wow, what a stellar review, I am pleased you enjoyed my poem and rhyme is my thing which you will see if you read any of my poems :~) Thank you I shall gladly return the read and review favor soon.

[Kristan A. Mohammed]

Wow. I really enjoyed this. I could, however find a few grammatical error but soon noticed that they existed to accommodate your rhyming scheme. Which I liked by the way. I like how you refered to life as trodding through a windy path. Also, I loved the first line of the last stanza that says, "But I now walk the last mile of God's great gift" as I am a religious person and really loved the used of words and the quality of this sentence. Overall, this was a loves piece and I was glad to see that you could have accomplished so much with such little words. Great job.

[Bear]

Thank you for the nice review and feel free to point out any grammar errors as that is how we learn and get better. After five decades of writing I am happy to say I am still learning. I will gladly return the read and review favor :~)

[Gee]

I ain't climbing no hill, I'm a faithless sceptic who has stocked up on factor 40 and fluorescent speedos, just in case it is as hot as rumoured. Nicely written Bear

[Bear]

Thanks for reading, I guess it doesn't matter at the finish we all end up in a whole or ash on the wind regardless of faith, believe or choice of fashion :~)
I shall gladly return the read and review favor soon.

[Omikron]

I can't decide which paragraph I love more, I think all three of them were equally powerful, despite the seemingly simple layout and classic disposition of the poem, which can at times become tiring. Your poem, however, was everything but tiring! A nice treat to read while drinking my coffee this morning. Keep it up, as you always do Bear.

// O

[Bear]

Thank you for the kind review, while I often suffer from sesquipedalianism, poetry allows me to revel in the hidden depth of simplicity :~)

[Omikron]

Couldn't relate more!

[andrew mitchell]

A lovely write bear, the imagery, the flow, the emotions, the meter spot on as a true poet does. Uncanny isn't it! at a ripe old age it's all downhill only to climb to the top for judgement day. I hope it's an uplifting experience!!

[Bear]

Talk like that can give me a big head, thanks for that my head has been feeling small lately and trust me once you get old it feels like everything is an uphill climb :~)

[M. L. F.]

I like this... Tis an uphill climb worth taking. The rewards outweigh the risks. Those slices do sculpt us, hurt as they may, in the end they will teach and shape us. Nice piece. Thank you for sharing. I find your work very pensive, very deep.

..Misty

[Bear]

Thank you for the nice review, yes every scrape and bruise are teachable moment and lessons in life. I shall gladly return the read and review favor soon :~)

[Squeve2021]

It's beautiful. I see absolutely nothing wrong with your piece. I like how you have a picture at the top of it.
I'm glad you didn't add punctuation, this way it doesn't take away from the content of your poem. I especially like in the second stanza how it says, "I paid the pound of flesh from my corrupt soul." It's dark but just enough to deepen the meaning of what you are writing.

I have never been a great fan of rhyming in poems. I feel like it takes away from the point of what the author is trying to say. Of course, that is just my opinion and really doesn't help you with anything.
Never stop writing, enjoy it, and be proud.

[Bear]

Thank you for the kind words, poetry has always been a hobby and friend to me and rhyme the language that spoke the purest. Now after more than five decades of writing poetry is my best friend and through it, I have made countless friends from every corner of the planet and I treasure each and every one's opinion no just about it. I will gladly return the read and review favor :~)

[Philip Muls]

When one looks death in the eye, the soul wins when the ego falls away.
Again be truly free...this gives much hope.

The way you have written this...it feels authentic, stripped from all irrelevance. Ready to face the ultimate judgment, not in denial but with an open spirit.

Great work Bear!

[Bear]

Thank you for the kind words. I am getting closer to the end of my time on earth and as I can't change any of my bad decisions I don't deny them and trust they will at lease be balanced by my good decisions in life.