FIRST DATE

FIRST DATE

A Poem by Bear

I was, broken by my own self doubt and fears
not knowing how to show I am more than it appears
I was, then transformed in the blink of an eye
because you said yes to a date with a hug then kiss good bye
I was, lifted on waves of emotional bliss
and electrically charged by your passionate kiss
I was, lost in memory of a hot fevered embrace
and the stunning rapture of your beautiful face
I was, lost in the moments between ticks of the clock
trying to answer the mystery so your love I might unlock
I was, treading in water well over my head
living up to a first date already had me consumed with dread
                     Bear

© 2015 Bear


Author's Note

Bear
I leave most punctuation to the reader that they can read the poem in their own meter, mood and motility. I thank you for taking the time to read my work.

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Reviews

Seems like, quite a first date :)
Emotionally rich, words flow easy.

I came by here, since "First Date" title seemed interesting and it didn't disappoint me.
Nice one :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Bear

8 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind words, my nephew inspired this poem after we talked about what was to be his.. read more
I do like writing without punctuation as well so I don't mind in the least. I get reviews telling me to punctuate more. I appreciate their concern but its not my style. I enjoyed reading this piece, the dreaded first date always awkward and the toughest to get through. I like the rhythm and rhyme to poem, one has to have talent to rhyme in requires patience and vast word vocabulary that I respect.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Bear

9 Years Ago

Thank you, I had an aunt who wrote rhyming poetry and started me out when I was only 8 years old so .. read more
Nice. The emotion comes across quiet well, the anticipation and apprehension.

Posted 9 Years Ago


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This was written so well! (I actually imagined this as a rap. Haha. Not sure why).

"good bye" should say "goodbye".

Well done!

- Brittney

P.S. Would you mind taking a look at my novel, HIM, please? I'd like to send it in for publishing but won't until I get as much feedback as I possible can. This is where you come in! (:

Posted 9 Years Ago


How well I remember, even after two and a half decades plus, the confusion of emotion I experienced when I went on my first ever date. It was a mixture of exquisite anticipation and fear of the unknown, and no doubt it was the same for my 'boyfriend,' (and how proud I was to have a real live boyfriend.)

We went to the cinema, (how mundane,) and for the most part sat in embarrassed silence through the film; just an occasional holding of hands, then a clumsy attempt at a kiss on the way home, but that memory is still preciously ingrained.

'Consumed with dread,' how apt a phrase that is.

Beccy.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Bear

9 Years Ago

I remember going to the cinema, it was the thing to do on first dates because there was to much comp.. read more

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5 Reviews
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Added on April 22, 2015
Last Updated on July 8, 2015

Author

Bear
Bear

KS



About
I am no longer taking read request as I will be away for a few months. more..

Writing
REINCARNATED REINCARNATED

A Poem by Bear